It’s down time at Mango meadows the start-up founders and flounders have either moved to newer pastures or withdrawn to work from home. The meadows have new sheep grazing. The atmosphere is like being parachuted into the labyrinth and Minotaur could pop any moment. The conversation or rather gossip of the day was about a village in uttarakand. Then someone came with a crossword the six letter word meaning a small village was of course ‘hamlet’.
‘But wasn’t Hamlet a drama by Shakespeare there was a Shahid kapur movie about it’
‘A small village is called hamlet in English’ explained the crossworder. ‘You know this village mathesar I’m talking about it has about six families and they all take in home stay guests but lot of people come there because there is a Goraknath math there.”
Expecting people to instantly connect to Gorakhnath in Goa is kind of foolish, the prompt question was who or what is Gorakhnath mutt. By this time the little cowbelt girl got smart she said, ‘oh! it is the Mutt that Yogi Adityanath heads” fortunately no asked who yogi Adityanath was.
Out of vulgar curiosity, I toss this question out…’what if Hamlet was to be Yogi Adityanath’s disciple” we were back to square one
‘You mean all the six families?’
‘No,’ I clarified ‘I mean Shakespeare’s Hamlet”
‘Chancse illa” piped Mukunth he didn’t even raise his eyes from his laptop. “He would be renamed.”
‘Why?’
“Firstly the name rhymes with Omelette that would be against the sanskari image of Yogi… moreover everyone has a purva-ashram and ashram name. Like one swami I know is called Pilotswami since he drives and drives rather rashly.”
Now this opened the new debate as what would be Hamlet’s ashram ‘naama” ‘bhagodanath?’ maybe…maybe not “kolahalanath” after all he gave us the option ‘to be or not to be’ the state of confusion. “Kolahala” by the way means confusion in sanskrit. ‘Lets get nationalistic and use sanskrit words then ‘Hamlet” gets renamed as ‘Grama’. To be precise Laghu- Grama.
It then becomes a lopasandhi to Laghurama…
Of course he will have to give up his black tunic and tights for saffron Kurta and dhoti. Gone will be his golden curly tress and he will morph from being heir of Denmark to hairless Bald Eagle. Forget metamorphosis it would transmutation. For the dark tunic clad, golden haired prince of Denmark called ‘Hamlet’ will become orange clad, bald-okay tonsured Laghuram.
Coming to Yogi Adithyanath he will definitely have an option, to either treat the guy’s bitterness, melancholy, and cynical outlook or put it good use. Reflect on this scenario, YA sends Hamlet now wearing orange robes and renamed ‘Babhrusenanatha” (lord of bald headed eagles) as a ferreter of information, after all he has enough experiencing finding out more about his father’s murderer. Babhrusenanath goes to Delhi and finds out that the Sahib has back stabbed his Guru, he becomes melancholic and old wounds awaken. The inner child takes charge and he does away with sahib and keeps the Gaddhi for his Guru.
With Saheb and Guru both being legal bachelors Babhrusenanatha does not have to agonize over his mother’s re-marriage.
As for Ophelia now he can self righteously ditch her, as he will have to follow His Master’s Foot steps.
A sting operation by Tarun Tejpal will reveal to Babhrusenanath that the Guru actually sent him to Delhi to make sure he is eliminated. The idea being the Guru has no competitor for the Gaddhi definitely not from an ex-golden haired now bald eagle. When Babhrusenanatha finds about this treachery, he avenges his would be murder. Subsequently the harassment from the ilk of Arnab Goswami and Barkha Dutt drives him to Harakiri.
On second thoughts Yogi Adithyanath being a person who takes a stand and stands by his decision might get too frustrated with the “To be Not to be” state of Hamlet and drop him such that Hamlet with turn Omelette…
Cantadora - The keeper of stories. 
Immensely funny
Damn interesting piece of work. Enjoyed thoroughly.
Thank you