With Thanks to 2016

Dear Universe,

Looking Back on 2016 thank you for a wonderful year that I had.

This is one of the most disliked topics I have, it actually reminds of our clinical pathology posting, where we have to do stool examination. Essentially that is what the past is about, experienced digested, some assimilated and some thrown out. Part it we forcefully hold on to, through photographs and memorabilia.

The past could be beautiful or painful, but it is done finished and gone, it is like a ruin. I have been visiting lot of these ruins through in clinic, not mine but others. This time round I decided to let flow.

I loved travel, and 2016, was definitely an year of travel, Jamnagar, Hyderabad, Bangalore, Kolad, Kocchi, Delhi, Bombay  modes of travel differed too, road trips, bus travel, train travel flight travel. I discovered that the Delhi airport was the dirtiest, and the most lax when it came security. I discovered food on tracks which was great fun. People, culture food everything was great. I also learnt at the end of the day I needed by Mosaranna. (Curd rice)

Kolad and Karwar outdoors really brought home the fact that I was quite fond of outdoor physical activity needed to connect to that side of me.

By and large I do not look back, as I do not intend going that way. So 2016 I just decided to write a gratitude journal, instead of journaling and writing morning pages. With the morning pages I realized how much I was clinging to the past, with journaling and the gratitude journal brought a whole shift.

I really had a lot to thank for, wonderful daughters who actually my spirit guardians, the insights they give and the support they give me is amazing. A supermom, who backs me. Friends who stand by me unconditionally.

2016 also put  Jan Sky Mehak Sethi and Vandana Shah into space. Vandana particularly it was as if the universe told me, enough of this “abla naari syndrome” pick butt and move on. Conversation with Vandana was like; okay we all have similar narratives, it is mandatory to be us, the person who we were meant to be. I am reminded of Indu Sundaresan’s epithet of Jahanara… she did not rebel, or fight the system. She was a woman and she achieved all that she had despite the restriction of the zananna she just grew, beyond it, despite being rooted deeply within.

The final epiphany for 2016 was the demonetization. Not to be judgemental… somewhere we got so caught up with the problem we didn’t share solutions. Yes, it is a bad move, inconsiderate, deep down I do think it is a diversion tactic. But when we worked from the space of scarcity we landed with lack.

2016 has also been a great year of personalization, with my Friend Sadhana helping me with reinventing my wardrobe, to make me look and feel good, Zivame consultation of lifestyle, body structure and picking up clothing, or Tea-box  counselling me to the kind of tea that is customized for my taste. Finally having the courage to get my personalized domain. The biggest surprise was my daughter analyzing fragrances and helping me to choose the appropriate one.

At the end of the year, 2016 has been about adventures, and discoveries, be it the Free Money Day, the Rafting at Kolad, the event presentation at Kocchi(which was disastrous) experimenting with Bhuta kola for Hayavadhana  each has been great.


 ‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’






A stranger ‘at Ah cannae forgit.

DSC_1268There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger. Nothing is ever familiar.”

― Chuck PalahniukChoke

the train shot out from the Nizamuddin station towards Ambala, I was travelling alone for the first time in 10yrs. It was a destination of my choice, for a purpose that solely excited me.   as I looked around, the train was filled with strangers,, of course the question of strangers in a society which estranges everybody from it – while forcing everybody to assimilate their own alienation – takes cover under dubious and sinister masks is quite ridiculous.

Train journeys fascinate me no end, look at us, what most us desire more than an season or weather, is the comfort of being strangers, at least to ourselves yet we go rushing into conversation with absolute strangers we meet on train… during a travel, we could talk to someone for hours and never even their name, we share our deepest secrets and never see them again…. I wonder why that is sometimes we feel freer speaking to a stranger than to people we know… I wonder why.. Maybe because the stranger sees us the way we are, not as he wishes to think we are.

Once the train began to move, was I looked out,  it was late afternoon streets, everyone hurrying along, going about their business. Someone walking along the rain drenched sidewalk. He is covered with an umbrella and all I can see is a dark coat and shoes that are striking the puddles. Yet he must be a hero in his own life story. Maybe he is the love in someone’s life.  what he does could probably change the world. I wonder what it would be to be him … then I continued looking around.

It was then I chanced on her, she was a stranger, dusky, beautiful kohl eyes, and a scar that ran right along the cheek, this somehow only seem to enhance her power. She was not just any stranger, she was “the stranger” and that of course made the difference. There was something about her that wanted me to acknowledge her smile and initiate a conversation, there was a part of me that was reluctant to do so.

But I knew that the exchange was inevitable for there are no coincidences in life. What person that wandered in and out of our life was there for a purpose even if it caused us harm. Sometimes it does not make sense the short periods of time we get people, or out comes from their choices.  But here it was not too small to be a mistake.

I had to go to the rest room. She looked at me, and smile, she “I have been observing since you entered the coach”

There was nothing I could do, and then give a tepid smile,

“Has anyone told you that you have a gorgeous face, ” it is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive  a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in mirror of another loving, caring human being. This being absent from my life this kind of appreciation was an absolute surprise,

The gamut of thoughts went from she is pulling a fast one, why does she need to flatter me, oh! She is back from one of those self help workshop where you are supposed to walk up to a stranger and compliment her.

Yet for courtesy’s sake I did deliver a weak thank you. By the time the attendant arrived with the samosa’s, she was busy with her work, and me with mine.

indispire“For the kind attention of the passengers, we are due to arrive at Chandigarh in a short while.” My stranger and I got up, to pick our luggage. She walked up to me, and handed me a book, inside was inscribed…

“For a stranger who walked into my and let me experience incredible peace. Thank You”

Before I could respond she rapidly vanished into the crowd. What occurred to me then was there was something very comforting about strangers… they could exist forever as the same, unknowable mass.

Bucket List should I or should I not….



“You can’t stop the future
You can’t rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret
…is to press play.”
― Jay AsherThirteen Reasons Why

The Vedas say there is no one who is not a Kamarthi unless he is dead. Something that we all wish, hope and dream for.

When the crab came calling, and after one near fatal accident I thought it was time, I did things I have not done, but would like to do before dying. I know people say one does not mean you should use it, well then what is the point of it all. any way IDBI with  Indiblogger has come with suggestion we share them.

That is the first step to even accepting that I have a bucket list.  In space it is finally accept that time is a premium.  Frankly I like the writing on the wall of Face book—what would you do if you were not scared.  … i realized that life was not about finding myself but about creating myself. I am like Simone de Beauvoir I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman, and to be a man, to have many friends, to have loneliness to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself. to be selfish and be unselfish.. it is rather difficult to get all that I want, and when I do not succeed like Simone, I get mad with anger. So having a bucket list is essential.

The most important thing on my bucket list is for both my daughters to achieve their career goals.  Both my daughters finding the right partners,that is if  they are inclined to get married.

Preparing for living a life after this event and that event, a person might just die, for their time might be up, and their song stays unsung. Like Maya Angelou says, there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story with you.

My personal bucket list has become my goal board, checklist whatever you want to call it.

  • To return to my clinic and venture into medical education. There are so many things that need to be done in public health awareness and education. That is place where I would venture into.
  • There are two fictions and two biographies that I would like to write and publish. at the end of the day Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” Somewhere along the way it is rather vain, to sit down and write if I don’t stand up to live.
  • Travel to Turkey to participate in the Nasruddin Hodja festival and travel Turkey.
  • To have my own television talk show.

No doubt like Eleanor Roosevelt said, that the future belongs to those who believe in their dreams, all the same, life happens to us while we’re busy making other plans. It is rather amusing how much time we spend planning our lives, building these bucket lists, convincing ourselves what we want to do, and we don’t really see what we are meant to do.

The contrary would be establishing a destination, by defining what we want and then taking physical action to ensure that we move towards that destination, the possibility of success is limitless and arrival at the destination is inevitable

Written for    http://bit.ly/BefikarUmarBhar.

wither dost thou wander?

travellerValentine’s perfect destination

When we establish a destination by defining what we want, and then take physical action by making choices that move us towards that destination, the possibility for success becomes limitless and arrival at the destination is inevitable. But travelling a Valentine’s destination well… what would it be..?

A night flight to Venus… not bad, quite romantic, I mean imagine those cumbersome suits and floating in the air is just a phrase but an actual experience. Nothing but your valentine and you and the great expanse. Of course itsy bitsy details like passport and visa may be replaced by other nitty gritty details. What are the alternates?

How about I took a trip on a sailing ship and made my way to Jamaican bay…  maybe by the rivers of Babylon… we did consider Tipperary… but it’s a long way to Tipperary

“Journeys end in lovers meeting,
every wise man’s son doth know.”…  I have this delivered with the authority of William Shakespeare.

February—the month of love..?!! No wonder it is the shortest one in the calendar. Most people are slow to champion love because they fear the transformation it brings into their lives and make no mistake about it; love does take over and transform the schemes and operations of our egos in a very mighty way.

Valentine’s Day!! A whole day devoted solely to love. Does that make any sense? Nah love makes us all crazy they say, well I feel sane, But its fun too, say the same. Well fun is a state of being.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

It is February 6th, and a week for Valentine’s Day every small business worth its salt, every television show starts sprouting “Valentine’s day”   even the week end prompt talks of Valentine’s perfect destination… “What are doing on valentine’s day” is the query, I am clueless, as usual deep in the vice grip of unrequited love.  It is bad enough being alone on New Year’s Eve, now I have to cope with Valentine’s Day too, feeling the social pressure from every retailer in the country who stuck hearts and cupids on their window by January second to rub it in.

Let me book my one ticket to the blue…

“February – the month of love..?!!
No wonder the shortest one in the calendar.”
― Dinesh Kumar Biran

No Kidding—Travelling with kids.

No Kidding—Travelling with kids.

I am just back from Hyderabad, and my co-passengers were a young couple travelling with a seven year old daughter and a 11 year old son.

The kids were rather restless being cooped up within the train. I gave them my laptop and let them play a game each, while one played I drew the other’s attention to the various stuff outside the train.  That kept them totally occupied after about half an hour they could keep themselves occupied and discover new vista’s in their life.

I did wonder how we managed this phase of the kids, considering my kids are now young adults. To tell you the truth I didn’t quite a few holidays they were packed off to my mother’s house. she is their biggest toy, friend, entertainment, and ultimate authority on discipline. Yes I am jealous, of that bond and my daughters promise that I will that bond with their daughters. There is always hope.

Back to travelling with kids.

Travelling with kids is quite a bit of fun if we do not micromanage them, nor peddle our version of fun on them.

Luckily for me both daughters were loved trying out new things and were quite friendly.  So ensuring a stress free holiday meant I had take a few precautions. For long journey I would pack a story book and toy for both of them. My husband let them experiment with the camera at a very young age. I suggested that they kept a journal of the trip so that they could share it with “ammamma” that put them on the observation mode.

If we leave the children alone, they tend to bond with other kids in the vicinity creating their own equation and enjoying it.

There are some moments that i can never forget when it comes to travelling with my kids, actually there are moments from each trip.

Another thing I realized that what interests a child is very individualistic. Fortnight ago my nephew was here he is all of seven years, he quietly came upto me and told me “nange, bere Goa nodbeku” I really did not follow what this “other ”Goa that he wanted to see was, it turned out that wanted to see the Goa that his friends would not see, so I took him on the barge, he was so thrilled, he kept asking the passengers so many questions as to did they travel every day, how did they get into a bust afterwards. The next destination that I took him was the ancestral Goa better known as Bigfoot, again the lifestyle of Goa a century ago totally fascinated him.

My own older daughter is again very curious about life and living, when we travelled to Kurukshetra she wanted to cook in the tandoor, and she was about seven  or eight the dabbewallah did allow her to roast a tandoor, he even allowed her to pat one she was so thrilled. That was the high light of her trip.

While for my younger daughter who is more into adventure tried parasailing.

This was when my older daughter was all of eight months old. Those days we had to take the bus from Manipal, get down at Honnavar and a smaller bus would take us over the bridge and we would get into the next bus. travelling with a baby meant carrying lot of stuff, I would be struggling she would sleep all the way till we reached the bus, and suddenly wake up when we arrived at the transit point full of pep, gurgling at everyone flashing the most enchanting smile, she would have the driver and the conductor of the bus floored, they would actually cart my stuff for me, while i could peacefully handle the child.

Then was another trip from Goa to Dharwad, my brother-in-law and husband had our year old daughter with them, while my sister-in-law and I were in another compartment. The railway cops interrogated both the men, until they came over to our compartment and confirmed that we were very much there.

When we went touring Delhi, at point my three old, just sat on the floor and declared, “I no go, indida house, she no come my house” or she looked Indira

Actually if someone asked how to ensure that the kids enjoy themselves I would say, let them choose their activity that activity should be something new, with a very small risk element in a new location.  Do not hover or oversee.