A Peek Into The Past.

If I could bring back someone from the other side of the rainbow bridge just for one day would I do it? and who would it be…?

Haa! A tough one, imagine being peaceful some of them even in new bodies and hey presto, I decide to bring them back, it would be like the Harry Potter spell ridikulus!!  JKRowlings didn’t attempt it either, she talked of the stone bringing people back and they being shadows of their old selves. Maybe it is a better to invite the ghost.

After all ghosts are energies of the people no, actually ghosts are the energies of people as we have perceived them. so here is where I come to death… when does a person really die when he is forgotten when there is no one to remember them. Those are the very people who come alive in their astral or energy form in my clinic.

Like Neville poor guy was not even aware that he was dead, he was living in Mr.S’s life for almost 15rs. Mr.S could only feel the burden, in the trance when requested any presence other than Mr.S to come up Neville said hello, his language was crude and he was very rude and aggressive, eventually he trusted us to guide him to the light. but the entire hour was quite difficult.

When NR was dealing with health issue it was time to look into her space, there were no extra energies, but hallelujah it was her own past life we had call from beyond the rainbow for about 2hrs. We had to understand her life and journey as Channa, who witnessed a murder at the Haldighat war, it resulted in her being thrown into a well and the consequences of that she was dealing with a estranged marriage and poor physical health.

Then there was SG again the story of estranged marriage and poor health, here we had to go into her past life, invite her own avatar as a warrior, who was awaiting his lady love, to apologize to, in that life she had chosen war over her spouse, that was scary.

Yes these are people we got back from the beyond and guided them to where they had to go. Despite of understanding that the souls leave the earth when their journey is over, it is best to leave them at peace, if they are not at peace we need to guide them to a resolution blah!blah! in my secret wishing well I have a person that I would like to call from beyond the rainbow, but I do not know who , I am not even sure if this person is male or female, this person holds the key to a story narrated by two of patients who do not know each other and are from absolutely different locations.

It is the story of temple in remote hinterlands of Goa when the Kadamba kings were on a conquest there was a cave temple where fire worship and rituals were going on, the Brahmin priest was very devout. The first patient saw the priests wife going to the river that flowed by as she filled the pot, she saw somebody swim by or so she thought, it turned out to a body floating she saw six more, when she tried to investigate, she saw an royal looking woman on the other side, who spotted her and shot her with an arrow, the last thing she could see was the woman scrambling up.

The other patient, said, he was on the banks of the same place, but on the other side he was the Kadamba Prince and he was awaiting his lady love a princess who belonged to this mysterious land. He called the princess Kamala, though he did not know her real name. The princess had given him access to the secret pathway which lead to the cave where the royal family was doing the fire ritual.  He had sent his soldiers ahead they had entered the cave and beheaded the priest and the royal family there were seven bodies in all that were thrown into the river.

The realized there should have been eight, the priests wife he could see her at the river bank, she had spotted Kamala, the princess to keep herself safe killed the woman. She scrambled before the defending soldiers could arrive,

At this point he came out of trance, but I would definitely like to know more both about what happened to Kamala, for the Kadamba Kings ruled Goa for long the royal family still resides at Ponda. It would be interesting to track this story.

written for indispire 179 edition, prompt by Nabanita who blogs at http://eatwithnabz.blogspot.in/


Dream On Predictive,Vision,Escape

The 9th A classroom was the corner square of the first floor of the building, there was feeling of being grown up when we entered there, but  the tables and the chairs, brought us back.The minute the teacher opened her notes, and began dictating God knows what… my yes drifted, the lake of Manipal… this before it was made into a Touristy spot there was no housing society beyond, there was just open flat land beyond the church of Manipal which was like end of the world… few cows grazing…clouds like the one described by Kalidasa in Meghadoota…as elephants put their trunks down to the non-existent water from the drying Palla

“hey you sapna… stop dreaming…come back to class” How unfair, here I was writing the masterpiece that is destined to send Kalidasa to the land of the forgotten and my musing was disturbed. We were told not to dream…. how sad. Because dreaming was considered non-productive escapist quality. The system desperately wove us into  the George Carlin ideology

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
― George Carlin

Then came the Amway into my life, suddenly I was told to dream, then dreams meant, a strongly desired goal or purpose and from human being who was slumbering in her own comfort zone, the human doing emerged, I had to do lists, achievable goals brownie points for achieving and band aid when I didn’t. Dream took a who new meaning. It meant vision.

At this point I am wondering about the word dream in itself we think dreams are not real, maybe because they aren’t made of matter, of particles… Dreams however are real, but they are made of view points… of images… of memories and puns and lost hopes.

As I set on this journey of transforming from human doing to human being, I realized, that sleep, is when the conscious mind rests and the subconscious continues to do its job. The images, the  messages we accumulate through the wakeful states, we let go into this vast undefined space that is our subconscious, during the first third the mind sorts all the information. During the middle third it becomes predictive… the mind assimilates and consolidates various beliefs, the mind also looks at probable outcomes of various behaviour pattern. The final third is probably the most entertaining the venting stage where I get to date PG Wodehouse, murder Premalatha teacher, and get crowned as the home coming queen. This is the imagery flushing that happens.

Of course as an hypnotherapist, I work a lot with the middle third of the dream, the symbolism the association. In my own dreams I have familiar landscapes, and events that kind of become comforting and reassuring, like a rocky terrain near the sea, I think it is Naples, and when I arrive there, the sense of peace and security is amazing, for at that moment I know that I am crossing over from life to death.

There have been times when I have woken up breaking sweat with unexplained rage, sometimes with sorrow   it is like the lingering of a spicy dish.Guess that is called a Nightmare..unfortunately one of those came true…I had the original Dracula as my examiner and I had to repeat the exam six months later.

Be it an escape, be it an vision, be it a predictive beacon, yes I am a dreamer, for a dreamer is one who  find her way by moonlight and my punishment is that I see the dawn before the rest of the world.

The Vigilant

ajjilas of UllalIt was the same scene that emerged each time she shut her eyes, the feeling was very unsettling, it was a mixture of fear, anger, and finally shame. The night mare was familiar her eyes drooped and just when she lifted her guard to sleep, the image appeared, each time the feeling got stronger.

She had been to the doctor, who put her through various tests, and declared her sleep deprived, that was the time she flared up, she  didn’t need tests conducted on her for four days only to be told she was sleep deprived, she was quite aware of the fact and the consequences had brought her to the doctor.

“Seema, maybe you should go to Dr.Jagati,”  her friend had suggested, after various tests, she was in no mood to go to any one now.

Still, exhaustion lead her to try just once more she visited Dr.Jagati, who went through all her report

“see ideally I should get all these tests repeated,  but since it is all in place lets not waste time.”

Seema, heaved a sigh of relief,

“I would like to keep you under observation, how does that sound?”

“there comes the gilitch” thought Seema  “before I put you into observation, I want you to go off tranquilisers for a week, can you do it? if you can’t we’ll do it under supervision.”

‘I can do it’

Week later she was at the clinic totally exhausted only wanting to sleep and doing nothing else, the sleep test was done at night, one night with the CPAP, one night without it, Dr.Kishore the ENT specialist ran an image, no blocks anywhere, “all tests are normal.”

Seema waited for the often beaten track, it is psychological, you should learn to relax what ever,royal emblem of the wodeyars

“what do you think of hypnotherapy” the question came from out of the blue.

“Well, I don’t really believe in all that hocus pocus doctor, and more over I too strong for anyone else to control me,”

‘well, here is what I have to say, your condition is not physical, maybe I could call it psychological, but it is something to do with your beliefs.”

“I know I have heard this stuff before,”

“maybe, maybe you can listen to what I have then take a call. There are some beliefs we pick up along the way, it could be from anywhere and from any one, one belief that you have internalized is that if you are not vigilant then you will be destroyed. If we could address that belief, and the origin of that belief then maybe we can resolve your sleep issue.”

“so you will hypnothize me is it?”


“I will be in your control,”

“No you won’t, you will be in the control of your subconscious mind. Nothing more nothing less.”


“You could give it a try.”

Seema, very sceptically went for the first session, Dr.Jagati was taking her down deep into her subconscious mind, the same sense of uneasiness began, now she saw feet, it was a large feet maybe size 9 in current scenario, but on the feet were wooden footwear with just a stubble to grip and no straps.

“What else do you see Seema” asked the doctor, as she shared her vision, “and what do you feel?”

“Uneasy, I see a bridge; it is dull grey-green the river below and expanse of forest on either side.”

“Just see and feel “kallu chappara (2)

Seema, heard footsteps, her mind told her that she was hearing someone walk outside, but the conviction ran very high she was not imagining it the old man slowly took a form, he was in a veshti, but unlike today’s men, this was draped differently, the man was not really old, but seemed middle aged well sculpted body and he was definitely a person of authority.

“Where are you?” was a soft question, she was not sure if the question was her own mind,

“On a bridge,”

“Doing what?”

“Running, with something in my hand,” Seema felt the older man stride towards him with a sword, there was some fear seeping in now man seemed to want to kill him, out of nowhere another man jumped in, he was masked….

“Rishi.. Do the right thing” said the old man,

The masked man laughed, ”This man, how can he even do the right thing? The Mahabali is dead, and his Velavalli, is still alive,” the man in Seema’s memory seemed to have arrived at his wits end, he jumped right down the bridge taking the young child with him. Velavalli were warrior body guards of the Kings, who would die on the Kings funeral pyre if they outlived their king in a war.

“this is the moment of death, come out of your body what is that you see,”

I see the old man in tears, the masked man with a sword dripping in blood, and the old man saying, ”If only Rishi had been more vigilant the King and Prince would have been saved  I should have seen this coming.  And know something doctor if I see the face behind the mask, then I can sleep, it that masked face that is troubling me. I know this masked face is in my current life too, but I do not know who and where, I am still not vigilant”


this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

Seema went into silence, her mind refused to go further, slowly the doctor counted her out.  Seema wondered about the masks…maybe the masks were what people used to keep parts of them hidden, some secrets like those wicked, and unkind parts. Some of those parts maybe are brave, or colourful. Some small pieces that are cunning, imagine these pieces of jigsaw puzzles being locked up somewhere deep within. Her mind could have hidden this maybe because she afraid of being judged,  or being relied upon to feats of bravery or boldness, or nearer truth it might be a deep seated knowledge of failure to do ones duty…all these whispers, they came from the shadow. Like perfume masked foul and offensive odour, spices masked putrid rotting meat, the music, drowned the voices of others, or maybe her own voice within that said, ”I think I know your fatal flaw.”

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Cafe Karma…

cafe KarmaWelcome to Karma Cafe…

Boomed the Amitabh like Baritone voice of the presenter all the first years sat in awe, this was a sorority, the sorority that churned many new age Guru’s those who wore their Levis, and FabIndia with pride and reverence was expressed with a hug.

Today’s deliberation was on Karma, like many others in the room, I was there more for the heck of it, no let me be honest to pit my understanding with the understanding of the other…yes I am ashamed but to be honest pass judgements on myself and the others.

the cafe launched by the flower children of 1960. Have become the elite, and venerable of today.  Today they were to share their collective wisdom on Karma…Karma a force created by a person’s action or so says the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it also allows that it could be cause of good or bad happening to a person.disguise

each of us in room had our own perceptions of karma that we curate from various ways that the word emerged in our space.

“nanna karma”  that, ”owe my fate” constant epithet sprouted by the family elders gave me an impression of a diligent police who sat up in the skies peering through looking at the mere mortals adding up good and bad, and sending bad something like a socialistic pattern.

But first time that I really went beyond it was a story in Chandamama which in turn was credited to the Jain stories  if I remember right the Kathasaritasagar, where a bandit was cursed by a sage, but the curse does not effect him, simply because he did his job with detachment, he did not hoard what he stole but distributed there was a whole gamut of actions that described his detachment, but the most relevant of them all was his capcity to be non judgemental, but one day when his son was killed, he exclaims that it was unfair at that moment the sages curse gets activated. Though it was beyond a 12yr. Old to actually understand this there was this question that kept popping up.the ghost

Karma eventually I have begun to believe is an action that we perform, and the charge it carries is the emotional charge we place on it. this action has a consequence, and we may be attached to the consequence of the action, and we will also react to the consequence setting into motion another karmic cycle. When we leave this body, the energies of the Karmic cycles is shed as an imprint, and it adheres to us on rebirth this gives us the pattern and cycles of behavior, reaction and existence.

Hypnotherapy actually gave me a space to work with breaking this karmic patterns and bonds.  Particularly in releasing old contracts and bonds.

For example we are at point of making a choice between two sets of action,  this choice has to be made in the present with clear vision, but usually it is dictated by the past.

Things like commitment  particularly to relationships, and career very often finance  we are unconsciously responding and reacting to an situation, agreement or decision that we make, these could be from current life or we could be living out a past life learning now that becomes Karmic.charity

I do not know if this could works for you, but this is something that triggered my journey into exploring past life. I had to release a Karmic agreement that I made,charity

Breathe in and breathe out, slowly focus on the rhythmic breathing taking your breathe deeper and deeper until you reach the point of the navel, now next 4-5 breathes breathe to the Navel and let the breathe out through your eyes, there will a kind of canvas, next 3-4 breathes it breathe to the navel and let go through the limbs, now next two breathes focus on your eye lids, the mind at this point becomes still.

Imagine a circle in front of you, imagine circles within it or out of it that could be present due to soul contracts,

With a soft gaze imagine burning up the contracts, or from the past that are preventing you from being who you are.

I had chosen self forgiveness, so it went something like this, I imagined burning up circles, with affirmations

I let go of being unforgiving towards myself or anyone else.

I release ides from my mental continuum that could create terror in my mind or in the mind of anyone else.

I release any agreement made by to follow old paths that are harmful and destructive.

almsAt this point I stepped out the circles and affirmed.

I step out of the collective curse of turmoil and panic.

I now easily access serenity within.

 I release irritability, sarcastic and antisocial behaviour

I release all painful connections with all those I have known from a past life.

As I release each of my contract, and learning the could feel it leaving my space, we then invited the cosmic violet light to heal, and place the suggestions that would allow us to heal,

My personal suggestions and affirmations were,

I am now confident and resolute.

I now know I’m free to move on through love.


this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

Of course I did not remember any particular past life, or exact karma, but the process did release something in my space. I am still sarcastic though but I can feel a shift in my own behaviour patterns.

At the end of the day my understanding is quiet the mind and the sould will speak allowing us to choose freedom from patterns that bind us, and like Wayne.W.Dyer said, How people treat you is their Karma and how you react is yours.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’ prompt welcome to cafe karma  June.11th 2016

Words Unsaid

past lifeBreathe in, breathe out, I was guiding Raoul through the session.

Raoul, came to me with an interesting problem, he was happily married, in a good job, his wife and he had decided not to have kids, yet he had this constant nag that he was not doing something he was supposed to do and that kind of puzzled him.

His wife and he had both deliberated it.

“you will now access that memory that is triggering the feeling of a task undone, ”

I let Raoul be for a while,

“what do you see Raoul?”

“an old man,”

“how old?”

“In his seventies tending the sheep, I feel a mild discomfort in my chest, ”


“I feel I am out of the body”

“any significant memory of that life time,”

plinky shadow“I am a fifteen year old boy, and I see a man well-built of royal origin, he is whipping this woman, and she is crying. Panna has entered the room,

“who is Panna”

“the girlI am to marry”

“what are you feeling”

“Panna, is very kind, and brave I would like to tell her that she makes my life beautiful. I tend the royal man’s sheep while she helps the Lord’s wife. ”


“Panna tried to stop the Lord from hitting his wife, the Lord was so angry he pushed Panna away, Panna has hit the corner of the wall, and died.”

“anything else”

“no I am the seventy year old man again, my soul is passing through, ”

“dying thought”

“If only I had told Panna, what she meant me, my entire life has been dedicated to her, I have not married, yet I still wish I could tell her.”

alms“As I count you from 5 to zero you will see any other memory that is relevant. 5-4-3-3-2-1-0 what do you see”

“A temple”

“Where are you”

“At the temple with my family, my parents, wife, and the priest.”

“How are you dressed?”

“Red silks, I look like I come from fairly wealthy family.”


“I seem contented with life, I have a beautiful wife, and parents, I belong to a prosperous farmer, trader community.”


“We are at the temple, I feel the chest pain again, I am leaving this body too.”

“Any significant moment in that life,”

“No, except that the vaidya had told us we could have children unless I got married again, and I did not want to hurt my wife Tripura doing that.”

“Okay, anything else”

“The thought that emerges is I could not take care of Panna, so she came to my life again as Tripura, I still did not tell her how much I love her.”

“…” I quite knew that the moment of truth had arrived.

“Shit, doctor, she is still in my life, my wife Radhika, and I have still not told her that I love her. that is the unfinished job. I need to tell her that she is important to me and that I love her. I wasted two entire life times, and nearly wasted a third.”

“its okay, can call Panna back and tell her that you loved her,  ”


“Now let us invite Tripura and you tell her all that you wanted to say. Let me know when you are done”

“slowly I shall now count you out of your trance.”

“thanks doc. I know what I have to do, I have to go back and tell Radhika that I love her. and exactly what she means to me.”

kallu chappara (2)People dealing with regrets and loss seems so everyday, but what we don’t realize is We don’t really lose people all at once, we lose them in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, scents begin to fade from the pillow, even from clothes in closet and drawers. Gradually we accumulate the parts of the lost one that are gone. Just when the day comes—there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that the person is gone, for ever— then comes another and another specifically missing part.

“You will get over it..” it’s the cliché that causes the trouble, to lose someone you love is alter your life forever. You don’t get over it because it is the person you love. The pain stops, new people enter but the void does not ever go away. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape that only the lost person can fit, the bad news is we never completely get over the loss, but there is also good news. They live ever in our broken hears, that does not seal back up. And we come through it, it is like having a broken leg that never really heals perfectly, that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but we learn to dance with the limp.


this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

Reminds me of a Therigatha, when Kisa Gautami, from a wealthy Shreshti’s house lost her child she came to the Buddha asking him to revive her child, the Sakhya Muni told her if she could get mustard seeds from a house where death had not visited he could revive her child. Gautami of course could not find such a house, but she learnt that everything came with an expiry date.

If you have ever lost someone you have loved and wanted one more conversation, one more change to make up for the time when thought they would be here forever? If so then you know you can go your whole life collecting days and no one will outweight the one which you had back.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’ May 14th 2016


If Ah can dream it, Ah can dae it.

I have a dream.. A song to sing…

What are dreams?   A series of thoughts, images, sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep. It can also be an aspiration, ambition or an ideal.  It can be experience during sleep.  It is the verb that tells us, that we indulge in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired.

Actually I find out a lot about myself by sleeping, dreams they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me, and hope is waking dream. People think that dreams aren’t real just because they are not made up of matter, of particles, dreams are real. But they are made up of view points, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes. We did throw our dreams into space like a kite we never know what it brings back a new life, anew friend, a new love, a new country. It could bring back anything.

If I were to address dreams as series of thoughts, images and sensation when I am asleep… then…As sleep apnoea practioner I know of REM and NREM sleep, that deals with the body, physical but in hypnotherapy I learnt the mind and soul connect with dreams. The first third of the sleep where the filtration occurs, the second third which predictive, and the last third which vents, the dreams talk to us through the language of symbols and metaphor that only we can understand.

Interestingly the Native of American tribes, have something called as dream catchers, these were originated in the Ojibwas people, but intermarriage and trade made it a pan native-American movement during 1960’s and 70’s.   The legend of dreamcatchers as narrated by the storytellers, speak of the spider woman known as Asibikaashi. She took care of the children and the people of the land. Eventually the Ojibwas nation spread to all the corners of North America that it became difficult for Asibikaashi to reach all the children so the mothers and grandmothers would weave magical webs for the children using willow hoops and sinew, or cordage made from plants. The dream catchers would filter out all bad dreams and allow only good thoughts to enter our mind. Once the sun raises all bad dreams just disappear.

If I were to look at dream as an aspiration, ambition, or an ideal then it talks to my mind. There is no point in being disappointed twenty years down the line, by the things I didn’t do than by the ones that I did, so throwing off the bow lines may be a good idea, sailing away from the safe harbour, to catch the trade winds in my sail, to explore, to dream and discover.

There are some simple things I realized help me to translate my dream to a vision and from vision to a workable goal…

  1. Writing our dreams down… I have a small notebook that I call the ideatrap. I put in any idea that knocks my door, it could be a concept for an event, or for a book all the same welcome rest awhile.
  2. Brainstorming some possibilities. There are more than one ways to realize a dream, when brainstorm I put all the ideas that come to my mind, even the silly stupid one, or the farfetched ones.
  3. Pick one clear goal that I decide to work on, the goal that is perhaps challenging yet achievable.
  4. Giving myself a deadline. I realized working in time lines and deadlines kept my focus. I would get less distracted by events and issues. So a functional deadline and usually I pick a person to whom I am accountable.
  5. This blog is written for the weekly prompt  on Indiblogger

    This blog is written for the weekly prompt on Indiblogger

    Breakdown the directions to get there as I am on to the plan itself, I get into the nitty gritty and start turning it into something real. With big goals and its quite helpful if we can work it backwards.

One thing that I realized is only one thing makes a dream impossible, the fear of failure. There future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. And one does not need Eleanor Roosevelt to drive the message in.