Serious Blogging? What do ya think?


Why do you blog?
A: Partly to make Butterflies and Wheels more frequently updated and more interactive (as well as that bit more interesting, I hope), but also because I think the world des-perately needs to hear my opinions, and I like to oblige.”
― Ophelia Benson

Has blogging reduced to meaningless activity? That’s for you to answer. For me my blogs are conversation with unknown person at a chaikhana.

Can bloggers make significant contribution to the society dealing with significant issues seriously?

What is a blog in the first place – a written material published on the web. If it is a verb then the action that creates the blog is also a blog while the person indulging in the activity is a blogger.

Why do most of us blog? Lets be honest we are doling out answers people don’t want to hear to questions they didn’t ask. Most of us advertise our opinion, some of us flaunt our language skills, what ever. Many of us who have voices and concerns that we would like to voice, but are reluctant to approach a publisher for whatever reasons, so blogs come to our rescue. Then are people who want information, then there are exhibitionists.

Each of us as bloggers are only as effective as our reader outreach.  Of course some of them in turn may have a greater range of influence. But as of now we just accept what gives us just in case we are interested. Our readers connect to us depending on what they perceive as our credibility. If we are perceived as sincere despite the fact that people may disagree, our thoughts and our opinions get acknowledged, that in itself is a great achievement. Whether we can bring about a revolution ….I doubt… a change possibly. Just this morning I read Sucheta Dalal’s blog and took an appointment with my bank manager as I needed some answers.

What we write, is our choice, we can do it in all sincerity, with all conviction, its outcome depends on the reader and the attitude of the reader if the person is the kind to take to action they would, if the person is an armchair revolutionary then it would trigger debates, if you make someone uncomfortable, they could pelt stones at you, and if the person is an armchair delinquent then welcome to the world of internet trolling.

There are people who take on video-blogging, or podcasting, there are people who are working with language on the brink of extinction, to revive it they of course opt of Vblog or YouTube. If you are looking at the immediate revolution brewing in the backyard forget it, yes but we do influence people to an extent again instead of. Our arms circle, this time round we don’t know who we are influencing.

Well Tomichan Matheikal, it looks like you are bringing me back to introspection, and questioning. Thank You.

This blog is written for the 162nd Edition of Indispire.

Frae Whaur Ah See

Let’s take a reality check,

Well.. What is real something ?

I remember seeing this episode, on television, where the protagonist is an actress she tells her brother, it takes me 15hrs of work to 5lakhs and it takes you 15 minutes to blow it up.  We could talk about the make believe world of the actors, we could talk about ivory towers, well that is their reality.

This whole concept of real, unreal, illusion it is all so confusing,  is Harry Potter real? What would my parameter for real be? Is a Vblog real?  If real is something you can see and hear, well you can do that on when you view my Vblog, but it is only through internet, there is absence of touch. You can see me read me, comment on me, I connect with you on all these platforms, but I do not know where you are from, what your actual name is…. though I know all that about Harry Potter, his fears, dreams , strength and weakness, does that make him real and you an illusion?

The tenet of of reality goes, that it is intangible, or existential, or the experimental truth, but which one of them is my reality? Reality is not something that is a derivative nor is it dependent. It could be an illusion, yet it is quite persistent. Now does all that sound tangled and contradictory?

The duality of life, the sathya and mithya… hindu philosophies ponder quite bit on it, but somewhere along the way, Shankaracharya who said “Aham Brahmasmi” gave us “Bhaja Govindam” and Madhavacharya who gave us “Vayu Jeevothama, Hari Sarvothama ” gave us, ikya. Isn’t it strange, that the beliefs transform along the way.

Somewhere I realize that reality to great extent is our thinking,

Reality is about being real and nothing ever becomes real until is experienced, so does that make the past unreal? Well maybe but scars have a strange way of reminding us that our past is real.

Again if reality is the experiential world we live in it is framed on the beliefs that we harbour, and maybe each of us live in our own unique world, which kind of private and very different from that inhabited and experienced by others… if reality is differs from to person to person, then reality is no longer monolithic or in a single plane… maybe it is time to talk about plural realities… with plural realities should we consider some more real than the other? Maybe the bunch of similar realities then what happens to the world of a schizophrenic? For the schizophrenic it is real… we then are in a place where we can no longer say that we are in touch with reality and he is not. We probably are in a state where he lives his reality and cannot get us in touch with it, while we live our reality and we cannot get him to connect with it, so what are we talking about?

madhva acharya


Difference in communication… then probably that is the real problem. To me there is no reality except the contained within us, which could why so many people live such unreal lives, they take the images from outside them for reality, and do not allow the world within to assert itself.

With Thanks to 2016

Dear Universe,

Looking Back on 2016 thank you for a wonderful year that I had.

This is one of the most disliked topics I have, it actually reminds of our clinical pathology posting, where we have to do stool examination. Essentially that is what the past is about, experienced digested, some assimilated and some thrown out. Part it we forcefully hold on to, through photographs and memorabilia.

The past could be beautiful or painful, but it is done finished and gone, it is like a ruin. I have been visiting lot of these ruins through in clinic, not mine but others. This time round I decided to let flow.

I loved travel, and 2016, was definitely an year of travel, Jamnagar, Hyderabad, Bangalore, Kolad, Kocchi, Delhi, Bombay  modes of travel differed too, road trips, bus travel, train travel flight travel. I discovered that the Delhi airport was the dirtiest, and the most lax when it came security. I discovered food on tracks which was great fun. People, culture food everything was great. I also learnt at the end of the day I needed by Mosaranna. (Curd rice)

Kolad and Karwar outdoors really brought home the fact that I was quite fond of outdoor physical activity needed to connect to that side of me.

By and large I do not look back, as I do not intend going that way. So 2016 I just decided to write a gratitude journal, instead of journaling and writing morning pages. With the morning pages I realized how much I was clinging to the past, with journaling and the gratitude journal brought a whole shift.

I really had a lot to thank for, wonderful daughters who actually my spirit guardians, the insights they give and the support they give me is amazing. A supermom, who backs me. Friends who stand by me unconditionally.

2016 also put  Jan Sky Mehak Sethi and Vandana Shah into space. Vandana particularly it was as if the universe told me, enough of this “abla naari syndrome” pick butt and move on. Conversation with Vandana was like; okay we all have similar narratives, it is mandatory to be us, the person who we were meant to be. I am reminded of Indu Sundaresan’s epithet of Jahanara… she did not rebel, or fight the system. She was a woman and she achieved all that she had despite the restriction of the zananna she just grew, beyond it, despite being rooted deeply within.

The final epiphany for 2016 was the demonetization. Not to be judgemental… somewhere we got so caught up with the problem we didn’t share solutions. Yes, it is a bad move, inconsiderate, deep down I do think it is a diversion tactic. But when we worked from the space of scarcity we landed with lack.

2016 has also been a great year of personalization, with my Friend Sadhana helping me with reinventing my wardrobe, to make me look and feel good, Zivame consultation of lifestyle, body structure and picking up clothing, or Tea-box  counselling me to the kind of tea that is customized for my taste. Finally having the courage to get my personalized domain. The biggest surprise was my daughter analyzing fragrances and helping me to choose the appropriate one.

At the end of the year, 2016 has been about adventures, and discoveries, be it the Free Money Day, the Rafting at Kolad, the event presentation at Kocchi(which was disastrous) experimenting with Bhuta kola for Hayavadhana  each has been great.


 ‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’





Between Self discovery and self recovery

Life is journey of self discovery … or so says pop-philosophy.  What is my journey and till now, fifty years of walking the earth? Have I had moments that brought me closer to the truth of life or closer to my soul and self journey…. hmm, like Lewis Carroll asks in Alice Wonderland…Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.

Okay let’s see where do we begin this wonderful mythical journey to discover ourselves? Gandhi the Mahatma (puke) says in the service of others you find yourself… okay I go on this path looking for myself where will I find me? Think of the visuals we are morphed into

Cinderella the wonderful daughter obedient hail hallelujah we have a self sabotaging victim at hand… waiting for the prince, waiting to be rescued

Then comes the sleeping beauty… again self sabotaging victim composed until rescue, again by a prince.

What would happen if Cinderella took a hatchet to her stepmother or whipped the life out her oppressor like Geeta does in Seeta aur Geeta?

Coming back to self discover, discovery and then what?

Have you ever come across the term from Upanishad,”Tatwam Asi” you are that… the question next is what… it is precisely that your are that you are precise who you choose to be so what does that make of discovery?

Think of an onion peeling each time we think we have gone a step closer to self discover we are labelling ourselves, stagnate like being in a pond, it is when we let ourselves be part of the infinite, we allow the flow of universe through us, then there is no more discovery there is just a state of being, the experience of infinite.

At times I wonder if the point where Self transcends from being a noun to a verb is that point in the creation when purpose, work, and play merge, and this point is very much in the present…

Maybe it we need to relook at this self discovery theme and look at self recovery…God made us in his model we are just as complete and powerful as him or her, Shakti alone creates Shakti alone destroys, and each of us embodies the essence of that Shakti. Which is why the Upanishad can declare “Tattwam Asi”

Self recovery will hopefully lead to self acceptance, that is the point of self discovery the shift of dwaita to adwaita… from vaayu jeetothama, hari sarvothama, the journey goes to Aham Brahmasmi.

Each morning wake up take a deep breath, and let yourself float in the energy of the universe, you feel the pancha mahabhutas, to experiment make a sankalpa or goal for the day that’s it, then go about your day see if you can find yourself in the activity of the day I learnt a very valuable lesson from my 25yr. Old daughter, her everyday meditation is to request the universe to let her talents be made best use of, since the universe has chosen to channelize it through her,….“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?”  ― Jalaluddin Rumi

Imaginem Terribilis

I remember this particular Asterix comic where the fearless Vikings on a world rampage to discover the meaning of fear, they kidnap Justforkix the son the a Gaul chief, so off go our gallant Gaul’s Asterix and Obelix to rescue him. But the Vikings are reluctant to release him, until they learn the meaning of fear so that they can conqueror it. this definitely needed to fixed so in comes Getafix the druid who calls for Cacophonix the bard and suggests that Cacophonix sings for the Vikings as the bard begins his ballad, the Vikings eyes get glazed, their knees shake and they are inspired to run, Getafix tells them that now they were experiencing fear. To this profound experience add an involuntary vibration of the vocal cords, you can call it whimpering, I call it the Oculo-phonic connect, and the entire manifestation in me is me morphing as Image-a-fearsome.
The transformation to Imagafearsoma comes with its own incantations, and visual offering, like the needle…no not the needle pulling thread kind, this is the kind that comes with a syringe and it threatens to penetrate the skin and enter the subcutaneous region…can you imagine how profoundly moving the scenario is think of the possibilities the needle could snap then it will flow through the venous blood till it reaches the appropriate Atria and somewhere between the journey from the Atria to the ventricle it embeds itself into the muscles of the heart…. and this minute piercing could kill you do you understand the danger of it all it infinitely more dangerous than crossing the road at peak hour. The only way to overcome this is to master the needle so here I am a surgeon now I get to wield the syringe.
Some minor triggers also help the manifestation of Imagafearsoma… like the epidural injection, well that easily overcome, not my circus not my monkey the anaesthetic worries about it.
Another popular invocation for Imagafearsoma is called the Writebyrotalis… who is goes by the popular name examinaxuns.. is identified by the need to commit everything to memory and write in out on the papyrus sheets without using back-up information. When this particular invocation is used then Imagafearsoma appears with an challenged intestine and hypothermia next exams when your body turns cold you know who you have invited… there is no known strategy to overcome this except quit college.
There are also not so powerful invocations, like the loud noise from behind the door, the oncoming drunken driver so on so forth… here is what I tell myself each time, I must not fear, fear is the mind killer.. fear is little death that brings total obliteration, I will face my fear… I will permit it to pass over me and through me…when it has gone I shall trace its path with my inner… and walk right in the opposite direction.
The most effective incantation again fear that I have heard is from JK Rowlings while facing Boggart which is actually the fear of fear turn towards it and say…”Ridikulus.”
‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

On Giving and Receiving

Joy of giving…

Is there joy in giving, of course, the day gave it back verbally to a figure of authority who persistently put me down, was so empowering, I gifted myself the permission to reclaim my self esteem. The day gave the physical blow to my abuser I gifted myself liberation from feeling a victim. But that is not what you are talking about right, here we talking charity

Somewhere we were told the giving hand is more powerful that the receiving hand, the receiving  hand is weak, we were taught it is better to give than to receive. So each time I received the hand me down from a cousin who out grew her clothes, or an aunt because she outgrew the fashion, a part of me would feel happy, that I was trendier than the rest, but it also told me I was insignificant, I did not merit having anything new.

What I figured is most of us fear and pain, that we give more than we receive, if we receive more than we are being compromised, as humans we stand an infinite soul yet we go ballistic about not receiving in proportion to what we give, our view point kind of gets clouded, in our own eyes we become become some kind of drawing on the pad of the universe… and the race evolves, I give x and receive y, this equation is so fearsome, and we are surrounded by that fear without realizing it we internalize it.

While actually the nature of giving , loving or living is all the same it is reciprocity, we are told to be the guest is to receive, to be the host is to give, but maybe it is the other way round, I do not know, what is the guest who gives to the host and host who receives? With each guest we get to welcome, feed and revel in the energy of someone we love and honour. Maybe the connect of the guest and host is like the connect of the giver and the receiver, a mutual exchange of gifts predicated on respect and joy…?

We are so busy about being generous, learning how to give…give gracefully…give proportionally…etc. etc. we have forgotten the art of accepting a gift.  Accepting is more difficult because accepting is perceived as the space of scarcity while giving is perceived as the space of abundance. When we accept a gift we are allowing some to express their feeling.

Until we learn to receive with an open heart we can really give with an open heart.

The big question here is what am I giving to the universe… only that will come back.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda


We are all Samurai’s


Well Anita you have asked me to take my session three for the course I conducted on theatre for the BBA students. Anyway, this is like putting it together…

There is a vital question you left out who is a hero or defining a hero …

  • a person greatly admired for his great or brave act or fine qualities
  • a person who is admired greatly.
  • The chief male character of a play or story.

The third I think is a stand alone; I would rather say the male character round who the play revolve. If I were to talk about Indian plays, or stories the Hero is called the Nayaka or the protagonist whose story we are narrating.

To be called the hero according to Sharadatanya the author of the treatise on drama called Dasarupaka the person has to well bred, charming, liberal clever, affable, popular, uright, eloquent , of exalted lineage, resolute and young, endowed with intelligence, energy, memory wisdom, skilled in chatushashti kala mighty, vigorous, and obeys order in short a person who is a figment of imagination.

Hero’s are further classified by Sharadatanya as Lalitha, or the young light hearted hero, the Santa the calm collected, Udatta the self contained and exalted, finally the Uddhatta or the exalted, yet jealous and arrogant. These classifications of course have subtypes.

In the author Joseph Campbell goes the describe what makes an hero when talks of the hero’s cycle, the hero according to him is normal laid back person until his placid existence is challenged by some adversity. Initially the hero is too laid back to face the challenge, but then accepts it. Usually come across in threes. He is supported in this task by two friends that again bring in the three, who not only strengthen him but they are also his weakness. The universe would bestow a mentor to him who is usually a wise elder, fairy, and wizard something or someone who has the ability for magic. He also comes across someone who befriends him, but is actually the tormentor.

The hero traditionally fails his task twice, then when he realizes his blind-spot and takes the help that is offered to him he wins over the challenge and finally get trophy …the princess, the kingdom whatever.

Here is the rendering of the hero from a story tellers point of view, if you are at heroes as people who are admired greatly then heroes are made by the path they choose and not the power they have, like Ronald Reagan observed heroes are not stronger than the others they are stronger five minutes longer. Being a hero also means ignoring how silly we feel.

“Think of all the stories you’ve heard, Bast. You have a young boy, the hero. His parents are killed he sets out for vengeance. What next?”super heroes
Bast hesitated, his expression puzzled. Chronicler answered the question instead. “He finds help. A clever talking squirrel. An old drunken swordsman. A mad hermit in the woods. That sort of thing.”
Kvothe nodded. “Exactly! He finds the mad hermit in the woods, proves himself worthy, and learns the names of all things, just like Taborlin the Great. Then with these powerful magics at his beck and call, what does he do?”
Chronicler shrugged. “He finds the villains and kills them.”
“Of course,” Kvothe said grandly. “Clean, quick, and easy as lying. We know how it ends practically before it starts. That’s why stories appeal to us. They give us the clarity and simplicity our real lives lack.”
― Patrick RothfussThe Name of the Wind

To be honest we are all ordinary, we are all boring, we are all spectacular, we are all shy, we are all bold, yet we are all heroic  yet we are helpless at times, it just depends on the day, we are all Samurai’s here.


written for Indispire 141, prompt by Anita who blogs at




A soliloqy

Dear 16 old me,

Here I am listening Ted talking about is vision for himself 5yrs down the line.  He is looking at the balance of life, his physical space, his work space, his emotional space, his financial space. I wish I could have done the same for you.

Well but that was a different plane all together, you did know that you could and would bring about change, the revolution, ”Kattuvevu naavu hosanaadanu, rasada beedondanu” the dream peddled by every revolutionary and every dreamer, a dream of building a new nation that progressive.  If I had known then what I know today I would have asked you to define what you mean by progress and what was the price that you would be willing to pay for it.

But back then, revolution was about breaking rules, remember Grandma Parwati telling you, comply with the small rules then when you  break the big ones not only will you create the revolution but you will also harness the goodwill. Well you did not realize the wisdom then.

There is also the fact that all revolutions need not happen with vocal dramatics, there are lot of silent revolutions, the change in the society from then to today well it is a silent revolution. Prophets and Rebel leaders come at a time when the world is not really ready for them so they have to create the turbulence but when the world is ready for the change it happens silently but quite powerfully.

The adrenaline infused aggressive revolution that you envisioned well, that is kind of spectator sport you know, people sit on the fence,  sigh and weigh and finally cast their side with winning side.

Don’t  judge me, and say I have become institutionalized, I am just a rebel as you are, the difference when an adult rebels it sounds like being a glorious saviour, but when teenager rebels she is being prodded by the Devil or is the devil incarnate.

Yes I do acknowledge you for your courage, of living your own unique brand without apology, despite being threatened by institutions of understandings with a closed mind. you did trigger changes though minor ripples by thinking outside the box. These pebbles would someday be the seed of the avalanche of change you want. May be somewhere along the line you should realize that it is not about fighting what is wrong, it is about fighting for what is right.

When I look at the results of the political battles you thought was worth putting your energy into, today, I realize all those went hoarse talking about freedom, and religious equality well wanted the freedom to tell you what you should do, it was not about your freedom. All those wars on common civil code, there is nothing civil about it, it is about erasing other cultural ethos and not balancing the religious ethos, matriarchy has been erased, empowered women have been rendered voiceless, the Mahisuramardhini is has been muted to make place for Rama.


this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

The powerful Mahishasuramardhini has been disempowered to a Kadva chauth performing Bimbo. Is this the battle you wanted to fight?

Anyway dear, your dreams and destination belonged to your age and era, I am moving on to mine, dictated by learning and limitations, I’m not emerging out of stillness for I realize that is the way to deal with the quicksand, that is the path to destination you chose. Have faith

Rest assured I am still walking the path.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.


Celebrating Life

Every month 25th-30th I am at Manipal I have my hypnotherapy clinic.  Last time I went there our it Aunt Kasturi’s 70th birthday and her niece Jyothi had a party for her, the previous day, as we were dinner, Aunt Kasturi mentioned “I am told old for all this birthday party and things like that.”

For which Jyothi replied “Kasturi-akka, this is celebrating and thanks giving, for all the love and care you have given me,”

The next day Aunt Kasturi invited us for lunch, saying it was because she wanted to thank the universe for all the joy and richness she received in her life. Jyothi had altered our perception of birthday, it was not looking at one year gone without any achievement to show, but it became a reminder to celebrate life and to update.

Then there was grandma Parwati, who refused aggressive treatment to deal with her 80% cerebral tumour, her argument was I am 74yrs old, I have had a great life, I would like to go  gracefully and thank my maker.

It is interesting when I deal with clients who have issues with money, it translates to wanting abundance, yet abundance is already there in every breathe,”I don’t have money” “My mother-in-law does not like me” “I am not good enough” we are abundant in acknowledging our lack.

Somewhere people who write journals me included we only document our grievances, and we land up empowering negativity. Actually I put my clients on the 12 week recovery program both for tobacco addiction or creative block one of the major things we do is ask people to write five things they are grateful for each night and five things that made them happy during the day.

It is amazing, how this simple exercise opened up an entire world of abundance and richness for me.

I could look at the wonderful supportive parents I had, I could appreciate the tremendous inner strength that developed in me because I wanted to stay true to myself and the support I received for it from my grandparents and parents, the wonderful teachers who taught me, not just skills but also life lessons. The emotional safety network that was provided by the extended family that we connected into through our community and profession. The birth of my daughters, their smiles, the fact that they are beautiful young women, I think I do have abundance in all sections of my life, that calls for celebration, acknowledgement and gratitude.


this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

all that is requited is a shift in perspective, great healing can be achieved by just one small shift. Life offers two options, one is as though everything is a miracle, the other is nothing is a miracle, no matter what we choose there is wonderment.

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’


Between Doing and Being


What are you running after? Step back enjoy life, nature, family or anything you love.

The first thought that came to me when I read this prompt on Friday morning was there is judgement here, and then an interrogation.  It was so incongruous like running after something is doing question, while enjoying is a being question. The running after leads you to a being and enjoying required a doing the two could complement each other and not the standard “choose the right answer.

“What are you running after” seems so clichéd the person who puts in extra hours at the office, could be doing so, because he or she loves it. The answer then would be “I am running after a shelter/shield/ protection” from whatever else I have face when I am not in this space.

When I am in the surgery I get a spurge of adrenaline flowing in my blood vessels, I am extremely aware of my surrounding my body functions at its peak performance, once the surgery is over and I have sutured the wound be it the third molar or a gingival flap I feel omnipotent. That is a state I enjoy being in.

When I am bungee jumping or swimming it is the same feeling, a feeling of being a survivor in a predatory world that gives me a huge rush. As does standing on a podium and addressing an audience.

When I am dealing with my sleep apnoea patients or tobacco addicts where I use hypnotherapy and cognitive counselling then I am a void, a space where the individual explores and confronts himself or herself, that is a very static state a feeling of being part of channel for the infinite and is a feeling of omnipotence too, but there is no adrenaline rush… this is the power of the calm, the still I enjoy this too.

When I am tidying my house, de-cluttering it, cooking for my family again there is great joy which is just great as the first or the second, but of a different flavour, here I am the one who nourishes, the energy maintainers the order I am the Narayani of the navadurga the energy that can empower that again makes me omnipotent, here the neither is the adrenaline rush there, nor is the still calmness, the state here is gentle momentum a sense of continuity.

Would I trade any of the above for the other no not at all?

What am I running after… experiencing the various flavours of life.

Do I need to step back? No I do not do anything that I do not enjoy.

Of course there was a time when I ran hither-skitter but I realized once I figured my destination everything fell into space I could choose both the being and doing.

When someone comes into my place an issue of feeling that they are in a rat race, then it is time to do sit down with them, and let them find out

  • What is their concept of the destination that they want to reach? That is what is their concept of success
  • What are their non-negotiable in life? For me it is my daughters and mother have the first claim on my time?


    this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

  • What are the skills they have?
  • What are the skills they like to use and skills they rather not use..
  • Finally setting an intention and walking the path.

Of course this happens through a time frame. Sometimes people need to recover their sense of identity, sometimes old ghosts and monsters need to be put to rest.  MOST of the times they need to recognize the signs that they enjoy something.

Written for Indispire 135 edition prompt by Urvashi Pahwa who blogs at  — what are running after? Isn’t it time to step back enjoy life nature, family or anything you love.

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