On Siblings

Siblings are people born to the same parents.

I remember my mother talking of two of her cousins, when they were young they would for every be playing chor-police and then it would end in a fight Dewar style, my mother’s irate aunt yelled can’t you do role play about brothers, the boys immediately obeyed and decided to play Vali- Sugriva.  It is kind of sometimes you love them sometimes you hate them scenario.

The intricate tangle of love, duty and resentment that ties the siblings’ together is amazing. The glances exchanged the complicated balance these were having established over decades. The rules of the game played are something that someone who does not belong to sibling circle may find it kind of difficult to understand.  Maybe that is the key, I mean this is a natural group it makes others feel remarkably singular in comparison. Over twenty years now has shifted out of the country and we have drifted, when I see other siblings it brings home the I’m missing.

Yes he does drop in once in every two years, but between visiting his in-laws, the numerous puja’s sight-seeing and shopping on his side and my work and family commitments on my side it we probably meet for half a day.

I hear this very commonly expressed and rather romantic notion of “Rakhi-brother/sister” let’s get real; the fact is we might be better served to accept that we are all siblings. After all siblings fight pulls each other’s hair, steal stuff and accuse each other indiscriminately. But siblings do know the undeniable fact that they are the same blood, with same origins and are family, even when they hate each other that put a lot of things into perspective.

Probably just as famous as the sibling bonding is the it’s sibling the sibling rivalry happens due to the toxicity created by parents comparing one sibling unfavourably with another, the target child feels he’s not doing enough to gain parental affection. This motivates the child to do whatever the parents want to regain their favour, this divide and conquer technique is often unleashed against children who become a little too independent threatening the balance of the family system.

Despite rivalry most siblings have this acceptance…he/she is my sibling…my blood, she/he annoys the hell out of me, most of the time but when it comes right down to it I want see him/her graduate from college and have a little annoying mini-Ram’s and mini-Seeta’s running around in the future. When I look at my mother and her siblings I realize that sibling relationships outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship, they flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust.

Certainly people do get along without siblings, single children do and there are people who irreparably with their siblings who live full and satisfying lives, yet to have siblings and not make the most of that resource is squandering one the greatest interpersonal resources one could ever have. Between you and me siblings that say they never fight well, are definitely hiding something.

“We Love, We Fight!
We feel Proud, We envy!
We Support, We Differ!
But whenever someone else tries to talk against anyone, we are always together.
And whenever we have any reason to celebrate, we are together.
Yes, we are siblings!”
― Pankaj Gupta

 

Cinders.

Burning of Holika… happened when Hiranyankashapu wanted to destroy his son Prahalada the old wives give it a simple good wins over evil hue. There are people who give it profound philosophical depth about burning the negatives within us, and going to the “morally superior” plane. To the sceptic in me it occurs, that okay we collect all the winter dry debris and burn it, garbage gone, dull and dried out… and welcome spring which is all about procreation and energy.

After recovering from 40% burns, through sheer willpower and grit, reference to three things I would like to burn seems like flagging a red cape before the bull. But maybe so, because the colour red exciting the bull is all bullshit..

Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, palak paneer in the pot nine days old… the young shop assistant looks at me aghast …I possibly could not confess that i left this cooker on a burning stove and went out to the market!!

Hey interesting isn’t it when stove burns it contains the fire; it uses fuel, gives out heat, that is another usage of the word burns. I definitely think twice something that consumes fuel and gives off heat… after all resources are not squandered. .

Burn is also combustion… like the engines of various vehicles, well would I want to do that I do not have the technical knowhow, and having dealt with my own personal spontaneous combustion I think I rather give it a skip,  think about this lingering bottled up anger… it never reveals the true colours of an individual then it slowly gets all mixed up, rotten, confused, and becomes, very volatile unstable and combustible then one small ignition and boom the explosion occurs totally foreign and different to the natural self… yes we definitely skip it.

When the stove burns it contains the fire, this helps to cook, to keep warm whatever, we are all born with the fire within us, do,  should we contain it like the stove or do we let it out free for all… containing it would mean experiencing discomfort like burning with jealousy, shame or whatever we choose to call the cinders, or we could burn with ambition, give it fuel, let the light and heat out and accelerate to action, so that the human doing will manifest as the powerful human being.

It’s okay  if the burn down as occurred like a burnt down houses, it’s not a burn sentence on an electric chair, one can rise from the ashes like the phoenix and fly to different vista’s at different altitudes.

The Kabala has a beautiful philosophy, which is each week comes with its own unique opportunities for transformation. When we do connect with the energy of the week then we transformed, we are empowered and the major shift occurs. Maybe the belief that transformation happens when we are ready for it has been burnt too deep into me, so I think this musing over three things which would burn… flags the connect. However the bottom line, things I would burn

  • The stove to cook the food that nourishes.
  • Incense that cleanses and takes the staleness away.
  • Body fat to make myself more aesthetic.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

 

 

Dream On Predictive,Vision,Escape

The 9th A classroom was the corner square of the first floor of the building, there was feeling of being grown up when we entered there, but  the tables and the chairs, brought us back.The minute the teacher opened her notes, and began dictating God knows what… my yes drifted, the lake of Manipal… this before it was made into a Touristy spot there was no housing society beyond, there was just open flat land beyond the church of Manipal which was like end of the world… few cows grazing…clouds like the one described by Kalidasa in Meghadoota…as elephants put their trunks down to the non-existent water from the drying Palla

“hey you sapna… stop dreaming…come back to class” How unfair, here I was writing the masterpiece that is destined to send Kalidasa to the land of the forgotten and my musing was disturbed. We were told not to dream…. how sad. Because dreaming was considered non-productive escapist quality. The system desperately wove us into  the George Carlin ideology

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
― George Carlin

Then came the Amway into my life, suddenly I was told to dream, then dreams meant, a strongly desired goal or purpose and from human being who was slumbering in her own comfort zone, the human doing emerged, I had to do lists, achievable goals brownie points for achieving and band aid when I didn’t. Dream took a who new meaning. It meant vision.

At this point I am wondering about the word dream in itself we think dreams are not real, maybe because they aren’t made of matter, of particles… Dreams however are real, but they are made of view points… of images… of memories and puns and lost hopes.

As I set on this journey of transforming from human doing to human being, I realized, that sleep, is when the conscious mind rests and the subconscious continues to do its job. The images, the  messages we accumulate through the wakeful states, we let go into this vast undefined space that is our subconscious, during the first third the mind sorts all the information. During the middle third it becomes predictive… the mind assimilates and consolidates various beliefs, the mind also looks at probable outcomes of various behaviour pattern. The final third is probably the most entertaining the venting stage where I get to date PG Wodehouse, murder Premalatha teacher, and get crowned as the home coming queen. This is the imagery flushing that happens.

Of course as an hypnotherapist, I work a lot with the middle third of the dream, the symbolism the association. In my own dreams I have familiar landscapes, and events that kind of become comforting and reassuring, like a rocky terrain near the sea, I think it is Naples, and when I arrive there, the sense of peace and security is amazing, for at that moment I know that I am crossing over from life to death.

There have been times when I have woken up breaking sweat with unexplained rage, sometimes with sorrow   it is like the lingering of a spicy dish.Guess that is called a Nightmare..unfortunately one of those came true…I had the original Dracula as my examiner and I had to repeat the exam six months later.

Be it an escape, be it an vision, be it a predictive beacon, yes I am a dreamer, for a dreamer is one who  find her way by moonlight and my punishment is that I see the dawn before the rest of the world.

Lets resolve

New Year is round the corner,

The blogher’s group sends its blog for the year calendar, the Goa reader’s club sends it, and guess what I used vistaprint and create my own calendar since my resolution was to be organized get some projects done and end of the year I presume I would be emotionally, intellectually and financially satiated, These resolutions are quite carefully made, some where I never realized that the year that went by held the language of the year that went by, with demonetization… Vamana Jayanthi…Kattappa and Bahubali resounding in them while the words of the next year are yet to be voiced.

Considering that the last year I had projects spanning the entire year and my year sounded like it would really resonate as for  what went wrong let’s go to it in a while, for now my resolution was  planning my work and work my plan. I did the planning quite well, discovering what I wanted to achieve during the year the goals gave me a direction I felt I was inviting a powerful force into play, both on the universe and subconscious level.  What I wanted to achieve the time lines for it, the big things I did not really did not account much for the little things despite knowing that the little things matter too.  Self improvement was on the agenda interestingly not self acceptance,
“hi, there here is new improved me.” the problems I wanted to solve, they were all there on paper I had a spent a week creating it.

So why did I fail?

Maybe because I was secretive, the fear that I will be ridiculed so was overwhelming that I didn’t tell anyone so I had no running buddy, when I say anyone I mean not even the universe you see the calendar I got printed at Vistaprints. Well I have not sighted it since Febraury 2016

Maybe the to do list was too much so when Justforkics I went out on a date with rest of the to do list lost in the disaster zone I have a legitimate argument I shall go back to my plan when I find the map.

There is a newer excitement popping up. My time line is  not honoured, I have commitments to my mother, daughters, society which come before my personal pandering my resolutions are after all personal pandering.  With mother she said the time frame would not work simple things like not accounting for travel time, or the time when someone knocks your door.etc.

Another friend whose resolution was to go to the gym or swim gave it up because of the financial factor. Though why she could not swim in the sea or take a brisk walk I do not know.

Most of the times our resolutions are unrealistic, and not properly planned. The resolution I did last year I  had put things into a time frame, including account for my second Saturday’s out of town with my daughter at her school town. So why did I not execute… that is interesting, executing it meant I had to give up something the sometime was oh! I have to visit my daughter… but this demand is made of me… it gave me a sense of relevance. that brings me to the reason why most of the resolutions fail, we are not authentic with the change we want to make or the benchmark we would like to achieve.

This year my resolution is very simple…tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book I intend writing a good one…opening line goes…Que Sera Sera…what will be will be one very convenient goal planning book that worked for me whatever little I achieved was from Personal success today

I am writing this for #flashbackRefreshedy  activity on forfoodiefamily in association with Sandy’s Bake Studio.

Ten Commandments to Land in the Present

There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There’s no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando

this is one of my favourite songs, when I attended the introductory session of landmark education forum, that was the first thing I was aware off, forget it we so hang on the past that an experience from the past, real or perceives colours our decisions today which effects our future this essentially means, we are living our past in the future and somewhere in this whole maze the present is forgotten.

With Jayalalitha dead, i see people talking about her first tenure as chief minister the corruption, the power mania… for them it is still a wonder why and how she is able to create the mass hysteria and following. Like one journalist on DailyO mentioned, she did make mistakes, but she now moved on to see things are secure for her state, women are safe. we all make mistakes, have struggles and even regret things in our past, but we neither our mistakes nor are we our struggles and we are here NOW with power to shape our day and future.

All fine and dandy to say stop living in the past and live in the future.

Okay.. to come to the present I had to disembark from the past that meant letting go yet things do pop up that’s when I realized it began with decluttering. It meant being a minimalist.  My own journey was to start decluttering those small memorabilia from the past giving it away, throwing it away I started feeling lighter. There were so many possession that I outgrew,

The next step was to stop writing a journal, when I wrote daily journals I realized I was reliving the hurt and just ensure that it got it tentacles well within me, instead I shifted to writing a gratitude journal… after twenty one days I added a smile of the day that is I would try to recollect one thing that made me smile during the day it brought a huge shift in energy I was smiling once again.

Another skill I had to relearn was being aware, as I am typing out my thoughts I can hear the scooter in the background, but it is no longer irritating me or making me angry. When I dry the laundry I  hear the birds, when I do the dishes I feel the greenery  there are small moments like the squirrel that pops in and helps itself to the coconut scrapping or the crow that pops in to pick the roti’s these moments I savour.

Forgiving the past is essential, but for me the most difficult, the only way I can do it is through EFT and then I bring forth the inner child who is hurt and try to create a resolution. This is something I am still grappling with. What works for me is I have a drawing book where I have my alter ego that call Potol my daak naam provided by buzzfeed. Who rescues me from whichever or rather whoever monster but now I have to understand what is the real issue there.

Loving what I do is another lesson I had to  learn… interestingly it was my daughter who was eighteen then who asked me a simple question, ”Amma who defines your success”  so I actually sat down had a conversation with the universe discussing what I invite in my space with my skills  i did feel very silly doing it. But it worked my clinic re-invented itself I am working in the exact space that I want to mentally and emotionally, of course physical space is yet to be formed. Maybe I should reframe it to doing what I love.

Dreaming about the future but operating in the present… its like I am going to Delhi on 22nd, that means I need to book the tickets today, I need to pack my clothes etc. etc. that keeps us very grounded in the present without being directionless.

each day goes by whether we like it or not, when recovering from the burns that was a lesson I learnt, there was no point in worrying about the potential of deep vein thrombosis when the current issue we were dealing with was the pain… and infection after that when I see a panic or anxiety attack coming I just take a deep breath and apply the choice theory and reality therapy.

what is the problem… what is the desired solution…. what am I currently doing…. if this is not working what should I do differently? Somewhere something pops up. I just have to step out of comfort zone.

then there are addictions that hold us for ransom they could story books, drugs, drinks, emotions, dramas whatever once we recognize the pattern and we are willing to let it go just one step at a time things just begin to fall into place.

I am sure we all have our own ways of coming to the present I am off to reading what others have to say.

CIAO

A sentence in my life

What a day it was… wonder… what makes a day memorable

A rainy day,

A scary day

A day when adrenaline ruled

A day when you met your first crush

Or the day you got crushed out of your self confidence…  I wonder what evokes the exclamations,” what a day”

Think of it, an exhausted day of adrenaline high, at the end the of the person drops into the nearest comfortable recliner and takes a deep sigh, partially shuts his eyes, then shakes his head as if to erase the picture and then says, ”what a day”  that would probably sound like a gratitude for the day that has gone and the person has survived the injury and scars can await evaluation.

Then there is the kid again on a adrenaline high, adventure sports, the gaint wheel ride, the popcorn, the candy floss, friends games and all the excitement at the end of the day , it is, “Wow what a day!” its gratitude again with tremendous sense of joy and achievement.

Imagine the day of unexplained torrential rains, and a young father navigating through a winding road on top of the hill, he is on his bike, with his young three year old child, there is a landslide, and guess what the father does the only thing he thinks that will save his daughter he gives her to a lady who is walking down,  the river that flows from the hillock is over flowing the lady is trying to handle herself and child, the father is trying not fall of the bike, he trying to keep an eye on the kid, all in a span of half an hour, eventually the father and daughter reach home safe… there is no power…groceries are low… late evening when the power returns and the family finally has a bowl of hot soup each…. the elder in the family says “Whew, what a day”

At the end of the day its all about how we look at it, we could honour the day by acknowledging all the good that happened, and say “WOW what a day”  or we could dishonour ourselves by only mulling over the not so pleasant events and say, “Whew what a day.”  sometimes I think it is essential to have a really really bad day, that helps to keep the good ones in perceptive.

Actually the way we live our day is a sentence in the story of our life. each day we make a choice whether “what a day” end s with a period, question mark or exclamation point. just leaving you with a thought…

“Have you ever seen the dawn? Not a dawn groggy with lack of sleep or hectic with mindless obligations and you about to rush off on an early adventure or business, but full of deep silence and absolute clarity of perception? A dawning which you truly observe, degree by degree. It is the most amazing moment of birth. And more than anything it can spur you to action. Have a burning day.”
― Vera NazarianThe Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Verily Me

gratuateNo one knows you better than yourself, peep into your heart and describe yourself in one sentence. — is the challenge by Anupriya… well

I am that little girl..not so little anymore

with a lovely little curl

when I am good, I am very very good

when I am bad I am horrid.

The 132nd Edition of Indispire is a challenge, how do we fit a sentence in blog, how do we solve a problem like Maria..? how  do we hold the moonbeam on the sand…?.  And how do I describe myself in a sentence when I am even reluctant to look into the mirror. But a challenge is a challenge and I have to face it. This considering the last week’s Love and freedom prompt put off so much that I went off integrity that I had promised myself that I shall attempt indispire every week, but I made my XQs.

It is crazy just think of “Poo” hang on not cow-poo or Winnie the pooh, or even kick-a-poo, I am talking of the Karan Johar’s Poo from KKKG, essayed by Kareena Kapoor standing in front of a mirror and saying, ”okay sweetie lets list your awesomeness.”

Or Uriah Heep from David Copperfield saying, “I am humble.”

Or maybe like the titles of those Telgu Movies dubbed into Hindi, I should declare, ”main hoon khatarnaak” unfortunately the vision that emerges is that of Surpanaka with her nose slashed… thats a no-no too .

storyteller

Image courtesy google

So how does one peep into oneself…?

There is no window, that I can use of course one would say eyes are the window to the soul but hold on buster, I can’t look into my own eyes it would be narcissi and imagine to the horror of horrors that would be the day to have a bad hair day and medusa takes my head over I will be stoned forever!!!

Wait a moment… I could try the Johari’s window… you know the story of the known, facade, it is kind of stressful for me, but psychologists swear by it, essentially draw a square divide it into quadrant,

  • box XX or quadrant 1 is the arena is what you know about yourself and what others know about you
  • Box XY or quadrant 2 is blind spot, what you do not know about- yourself and what others know of you.
  • Box YX or quadrant 3 is facade, what you know about yourself, but what others don’t know about you.
  • Box YY or quadrant 4 is the unknown neither you nor others know about you.

May be the easiest thing to do is to log to http://kevan.org/johari and take the test. It is quite fun.

nanowrmo

this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

May be I should use the Myers-Briggs indicator created by Isabel Briggs Myer and her mother Katherine Cook Briggs… this is an introspective self report questionnaire but frankly that is more about perceiving the world and making decisions. For those who are curious https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test .

I think I shall do it the hypnotherapy way, so I sit in front of the Shri-Yantra that I created for myself, it is Red-Green and Blue with gold centre,  I slowly breathe in and breathe out till my breathing becomes steady and now I throw the breathe out through my eyes, until my eyes become limp, now I breathe out so that my limbs relax… not much of an effort though for by now my limbs are on verge of beginning to snore and I invite my true, unblemished self to emerge… No peeking or squeeking  a clear vision of who I am … and what I truly… and I realize I am  truly …Eyesome…Awesome and Buxom,

Ps: turn of tides could make me Eyesore..Awful .. buxom wish I could say winsome..

Prompted by Anupriya #knowyourself—no one knows you better than yourself, peep into your heart and describe yourself in one sentence. She blogs at https://dancewithmeanu.blogspot.in/

To Err is Human…To Accept and apologize is…

plinky move onForgiveness is not easy to come by, but it is a sign of ones inner strength what is my take asks Blogger Sunaina who blogs at http://istoppedtosmellarose.blogspot.in/  well  for me it is not about the other, it is about me, if I have done something that I think I have messed then I own up, in all integrity, whether person forgives me or not is their problem I have a bigger one to deal with can I forgive myself?

I cannot remember who said this but how people treat you is their Karma and how you react is your Karma; I always thought it was a beautiful way of putting it.

When I used to hear this whole word of forgive someone it actually sounded very priggish to me. it is like I am in a pedestal and the other is not. The entire complex has been very very confusing. And then there were popular beliefs that I picked up along the way… like the one by Oscar Wilde, ”always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.”

There was a huge inner child raging, what if I forgive, i will lose my “I am hurt status,” what will I do without it?  as I walked along the path of spirit healing, I learnt forgiveness is not about forgetting, it is about letting go of another person’s throat… forgiveness does not create a relationship, unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behaviour, a relationship of trust is not possible. When we forgive someone we certainly release them from judgement, but without true change no real relationship- can established…. forgiveness in no way requires me to trust the one I forgive, but should they finally confess, and repent, there is a miracle awaiting us, that is our heart allows us to reach out and begin to build between us a bridge of reconciliation…forgiveness does not excuse anything…we may be to declare our forgiveness a hundred times the first and second day, but the third day will less and each day after until one day we realize that we have forgiven completely…and maybe even pray for the others wholeness.

Forgiving I realized meant more of letting go of resentment, and resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill our enemies. The truth is unless we let go, unless we forgive our self, unless we forgive the situation unless we realize that the situation is over we cannot move forward.

And with each healing session, I learnt that the person I had to ask forgiveness from the most is myself, I had to love myself particularly when I remember a shortcoming, a flaw I have to tell myself its fine, the process is so ongoing, some day i will reach a point, when I stop seeing those things, because that is what love is about.

Meditation form that seemed to help lot of my clients is given below.

  • Sit in a quiet comfortable space.
  • Focus on your breathing till is deep, and rhythmic. It usually takes about 10 breathes.
  • Then breathe in deep and breathe out through your eyes, till your eye lids feel limp.
  • Record the passage below and listen to it

People, love ones, and friends make mistakes. You can get through

infidelity, hurts, betrayal, and abandonment. Allow the many different feelings

you have run their course. You may never forget the experience but you need to

dissolve the current anger, hurt, and resentment today. You can get through (name

The negative experience), heal and have honest and intimate relationships again.

Be gentle with yourself, be patient with yourself. When challenges arise, when

someone wrongs you, your duty is to forgive. Not to punish. Nothing good

comes from a spirit of hurt and revenge. The choice is yours. True forgiveness

occurs only when you treat the subject as a closed matter. Forgiveness breaks

down walls. Before true feelings can occur, you must let loose all old hurts and

start fresh. Grant yourself comfort and peace. Forgiveness gives you a clean start.

You need to heal your wounds. A positive spirit is like a

nanowrmo

this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

Powerful  medicine. A positive spirit has a great deal of power to heal. You have to

accept others. Flaws and all. You can hope to receive no more than what you

are willing to give in this life. So let go, move on, and get peace give the gift of

forgiveness.

Slowly open your eyes and assimilate into the environment.

Rising In Love

bettyWith all your senses fall in love once more…well to fall in love once more, one needs to fall in love and then fall out.

How does one know when it is over?

Maybe when we feel more in love with our memories than with the person standing in front of us? apparently something can happen inside you …it can just happen somehow…maybe like magic, you think that you’ve had enough, and that the way the two of you haven for a really long time is no longer worth the effort. Does that sound familiar?

Some how what Ben Davis Sr. Said seems to make sense, falling in love is sudden, easy and fun. Its like a child going down a playground slide, while falling out of love is slow, difficult and painful, it is like watching a child die of cancer.

The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What’s left of the kisses? But wounds however leave scars, and the scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real. All them same, scars are not injuries, a scar is a healing, it makes whole.

Falling in love is easy; falling in love with same person repeatedly is extraordinary. Actually somewhere maybe falling in love is about acknowledging the person who makes us feel worthy about ourselves..? So our self worth falls, we fall out of love…? Could that be it?

Maybe we our task is not seek love, but seek and dissolve the barriers within us that we have erected against love…? we are so taken up with finding, being, staying and sustaining love we seem to have forgotten the one person who we need to love first… ourselves… still worse when we do, we label it selfish, narcissism and whip ourselves no end.

Most relationships seem to hit that stalemate not at the seven year itch.. as glorified but a little later. So what happens to that great love, it should have evolved from romantic lust to an sustaining enduring companionship… the flowers should have been replaced by cauliflower pickle.

Somewhere my generation was brought up on harshness, be it verbal or physical, spare the rod and spoil the child was at its peak just beginning wan. To be kind to myself is something I had to learn, and have still to learn. Letting go of harsh judgements and self hatred has been such a tough journey.

I figured that I had decreed that fat, scared, and no awards or plaque to flaunt I was definitely not lovable. So even if someone did say anything affectionate I was sceptic.

An affirmation that helped me was, “I love and accept myself just the way I am.” Find my peace.

As I began to accept myself, and even love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering were only warnings that I was living against my own truth, this I know today as Authenticity.  I realize each person has their own pace and space, and so do I, this is called Respect. I learnt to accept myself and where I am, without wanting to change people or my surrounding, everything was an invitation to grow, maybe this is Maturity. As I began to love myself, I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time and everything happens at the right moment. This I realize is self Confidence. Somewhere since I did not seek approval, or did not need targets to be loved, work at my pace, doing things that give me joy, this keeps my life exceedingly Simple. As my love and respect for myself grew, I find myself free of anything that is not good for my health, be it food, people, things, situations or anything that drew me away from authentic-self. Once upon a time I thought this was ego and narcissism, but today I know it Love Of Oneself. As I began to love myself, the need to be always right is gone, interestingly I find, I am wrong less of the time. This I discover is Modesty. As I learn to love myself, I learnt to forgive myself, I’m

nanowrmo

this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

learning to stop living in the past, or worrying about the future, the moment seems to so happening I can live each day, and I find my life getting better every way, I call it Fulfilment. As I  learn to love myself I realize my mind can disturb me and it me sick, it give be critical, unforgiving, by as I learn to connect it my heart, my mind became an valuable ally. This connect is the Wisdom of the Heart.  Confrontations, arguments, or problems don’t seem to loom like boogie men.  There is tremendous strength and creativity happening in a still mind; I said still mind and not stagnant mind. Today I know  This Is Life…. this is love… this lightens the soul.

Indispire 123 prompt With All Your Senses  Fall In Love…..One More Time, Prompt by Arunkumar  who blogs at http://www.urgid.com
 

Let love in to Your Life

bettylove is not an easy task, love comes with its share of pain and guilt share a story or invent one where that pain is revealed in a form most unimaginable in direction not thought.

But  Lao Tze said, being in deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage. In either case where does pain come from?

Love is liberating, when you are in love the pheromones in the body are high, there is a sense of invincibility, we let ourselves flow and then things just happen.

I see one more prompt that talks of love and betrayal,

If one is talking about love resulting in pain, guilt or betrayal, then we are talking huge inner children here, those that have understood love as pain, or guilt or betrayal. We accept the love we think we deserve.”

After I wrote https://parwatisingari.wordpress.com/2016/02/19/at-the-grief-circl/   actually dealt with a painful relationship people said they felt the characters pain, some even thought that it was my own story, its not, I have a now I hate you, now I love you relationship with Mr.D going strong and steady, but my heroine Kangana needed to heal, She nurtures a strong belief that husbands are promiscuous, relationships are doomed to result in pain because of betrayal. This created an inner child who felt she could control things being the person who everyone depended on. and presto… the jhol begins.

In https://plinkyprompt.wordpress.com/2016/06/04/lovelorn/ it was pain of having lost something. Well, this is a tough one, I know people who cling, but then there are people who move on, there is the sand on hand who empathizes with the sea and takes all the things that the sea throws, she is happy with what she has, so is the moon who is at peace going with flow, but it is turbulent sea who is on the fight-flight mode.

Sometime in our life, I truly believe, we find someone who can completely turn our world around. We tell them things that we’ve never shared with anyone else, and they absorb everythin we say and actually want to hear more. We share hopes for the future, dreams that didn’t come true, goals that were not achieved, life’s disappointments. When something wonderful happens we can’t wait to share it with them, knowing that our excitement will be theirs. They are not embarrassed to cry with us when we are hurt or laugh with us when we have made a fool ourselves,. Never do they hurt our feelings, or make us feel inferior, but they rather build us up and show things about us to ourselves that makes us feel special and maybe even beautiful. There is no pressure, jealousy or competition, but only a quiet calmness when they are around. We can be ourselves and not worry about what they think of us because, they accept us and maybe even love us for who we are.

Things that used to be insignificant before maybe a song, a note suddenly because invaluable treasures, to cherish. Memories of childhood comes back clear and vivid maybe I should say the  it’s almost like being young again, colours become brighter and more brilliant, laughter comes easy, so does a smile. These are people in whose presence you are not forced to converse, but having them around is enough to be contented. Things that were not important to us become important because they are important to this person who is important in our life.

We know that there is a chance that the heart might be broken, we are willing to be vulnerable and open our hearts to joy, and love its so real that it can be scary. But knowing that we have a true friend beside us is fortifying.  In love you may not be your partners, first, last or only. Your partner may have loved before, may love again, but if your partner loves you now, what else matters? I mean he/she is not perfect—but neither are you, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if you can make one another laugh, cause one and another to think twice, and admit to being human, making mistakes, then hold on and give each other the most you can.  Your partner may not think about you every second of the day, but he/she will give a part of her/him that she/he knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt, don’t try to change, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than he/she can give. Smile when she/he makes you happy. Let her/him know when she/he makes you mad and miss him/her when he/she is not there.

nanowrmo

this article is an excerpt from my NANOWRMO writing.

Remember the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. You know you are in love when you can’t sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. so  let love in, there is no pain, guilt or betrayal.

By the way this was the original blog I wrote.  https://plinkyprompt.wordpress.com/2016/06/21/love-lament/  

Prompt  122 thrown by Aditya Agarwal https://lovelosslustlife.wordpress.com/ for indispire.

 

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