“jaago mohan pyaare” the strains of Lata Mangeshkar woke me up from shut-eye in the peaceful ambience of 91 springboard. The AC was just right, my stomach just full this blighter’s ringtone wakes me up.
Honestly alarm clocks are the bane of humanity. They are responsible for conditioned reflex, sleep inertia, reduced motor dexterity, grogginess, impaired awareness, potential metamorphosis into the zombie state. Most cardiac arrests happens in this window, of the alarm ringing and the person in slumber waking. Many fractured incisors are also credited to the same insult. People are known to get violent in this time frame.
Now that I am shaken it makes sense to placate the renal cells and activate the cerebral ones. I wonder when did the alarm clocks debut into the civilization, awakening the barbarians in us.
The culprit is Levi Hutchins, who created the first mechanical alarum in 1787, the blighter had it set for 4 am not that he had any earth shattering thing to do, for him it was a matter of creating self discipline.
Saturday with Robusta, and Merriam Webster is a must, and Merriam Webster tells me that an alarum is usually a call to arms. It is a signal that warns or alerts. An alarm is also a sudden sharp apprehension and fear resulting from the perception of imminent danger. It is a warning notice.
Actually scraps of lectures by Pop LNRao who taught us physiology and of course pop Glossop that you already know floats from the deep vault of my grey cells, and if I remember right, if one maintains a diligent sleep return than the circadian rhythm stays tuned and is remains well behaved. So we doze off and wake up in a very predictable pattern. Of course all these things like blood pressure, heart rate, and sleep cycle are all taken care of by a protein called PER. So before the clock strikes the Cinderella hour, the brain goes on low performance, the metabolism begins to down. Of course some foods also help.
It is strange that a meal of chole bhature, with Sindhi biryani and chaas and double ka meeta can spiral one into Noddy land post lunch, but the same after sundown triggers, imagery of Prof.Shobha Tandon, wielding the rolling pin, or the Draconian image of Aunt Paddy pops up at times.
Frankly if you hate your alarm clock then you have the wrong one, for it is jarring and stressful. The primitive brain understands only one thing that is survival, inadequate sleep is a threat to survival. The primitive brain has two fears, one is falling from a height and the other is a loud noise. When the primitive mind perceives threat, we go into fight or flight mode, and that creates a whole new drama in our space. The alarm clock activates both it is a loud sound that announces danger, and it disturbs the much required sleep.
But if you have the right one, it silently begins to work almost an hour before you actually wake up, the body releases stress hormones like cortisol, you slowly come out of your sleep, romance Shahrukh Khan, vent all that you have to vent, by the time the alarm goes, Shahrukh Khan would return to Gauri and your bladder would demand attention.
With the third Robusta I know … I wish that the alarm would ring loud and clear, to alert me to the on coming assault of the Gossip Gladys or any other time thief.