The 9th A classroom was the corner square of the first floor of the building, there was feeling of being grown up when we entered there, but the tables and the chairs, brought us back.The minute the teacher opened her notes, and began dictating God knows what… my yes drifted, the lake of Manipal… this before it was made into a Touristy spot there was no housing society beyond, there was just open flat land beyond the church of Manipal which was like end of the world… few cows grazing…clouds like the one described by Kalidasa in Meghadoota…as elephants put their trunks down to the non-existent water from the drying Palla
“hey you sapna… stop dreaming…come back to class” How unfair, here I was writing the masterpiece that is destined to send Kalidasa to the land of the forgotten and my musing was disturbed. We were told not to dream…. how sad. Because dreaming was considered non-productive escapist quality. The system desperately wove us into the George Carlin ideology
“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
― George Carlin
Then came the Amway into my life, suddenly I was told to dream, then dreams meant, a strongly desired goal or purpose and from human being who was slumbering in her own comfort zone, the human doing emerged, I had to do lists, achievable goals brownie points for achieving and band aid when I didn’t. Dream took a who new meaning. It meant vision.
At this point I am wondering about the word dream in itself we think dreams are not real, maybe because they aren’t made of matter, of particles… Dreams however are real, but they are made of view points… of images… of memories and puns and lost hopes.
As I set on this journey of transforming from human doing to human being, I realized, that sleep, is when the conscious mind rests and the subconscious continues to do its job. The images, the messages we accumulate through the wakeful states, we let go into this vast undefined space that is our subconscious, during the first third the mind sorts all the information. During the middle third it becomes predictive… the mind assimilates and consolidates various beliefs, the mind also looks at probable outcomes of various behaviour pattern. The final third is probably the most entertaining the venting stage where I get to date PG Wodehouse, murder Premalatha teacher, and get crowned as the home coming queen. This is the imagery flushing that happens.
Of course as an hypnotherapist, I work a lot with the middle third of the dream, the symbolism the association. In my own dreams I have familiar landscapes, and events that kind of become comforting and reassuring, like a rocky terrain near the sea, I think it is Naples, and when I arrive there, the sense of peace and security is amazing, for at that moment I know that I am crossing over from life to death.
There have been times when I have woken up breaking sweat with unexplained rage, sometimes with sorrow it is like the lingering of a spicy dish.Guess that is called a Nightmare..unfortunately one of those came true…I had the original Dracula as my examiner and I had to repeat the exam six months later.
Be it an escape, be it an vision, be it a predictive beacon, yes I am a dreamer, for a dreamer is one who find her way by moonlight and my punishment is that I see the dawn before the rest of the world.