There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There’s no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando
this is one of my favourite songs, when I attended the introductory session of landmark education forum, that was the first thing I was aware off, forget it we so hang on the past that an experience from the past, real or perceives colours our decisions today which effects our future this essentially means, we are living our past in the future and somewhere in this whole maze the present is forgotten.
With Jayalalitha dead, i see people talking about her first tenure as chief minister the corruption, the power mania… for them it is still a wonder why and how she is able to create the mass hysteria and following. Like one journalist on DailyO mentioned, she did make mistakes, but she now moved on to see things are secure for her state, women are safe. we all make mistakes, have struggles and even regret things in our past, but we neither our mistakes nor are we our struggles and we are here NOW with power to shape our day and future.
All fine and dandy to say stop living in the past and live in the future.
Okay.. to come to the present I had to disembark from the past that meant letting go yet things do pop up that’s when I realized it began with decluttering. It meant being a minimalist. My own journey was to start decluttering those small memorabilia from the past giving it away, throwing it away I started feeling lighter. There were so many possession that I outgrew,
The next step was to stop writing a journal, when I wrote daily journals I realized I was reliving the hurt and just ensure that it got it tentacles well within me, instead I shifted to writing a gratitude journal… after twenty one days I added a smile of the day that is I would try to recollect one thing that made me smile during the day it brought a huge shift in energy I was smiling once again.
Another skill I had to relearn was being aware, as I am typing out my thoughts I can hear the scooter in the background, but it is no longer irritating me or making me angry. When I dry the laundry I hear the birds, when I do the dishes I feel the greenery there are small moments like the squirrel that pops in and helps itself to the coconut scrapping or the crow that pops in to pick the roti’s these moments I savour.
Forgiving the past is essential, but for me the most difficult, the only way I can do it is through EFT and then I bring forth the inner child who is hurt and try to create a resolution. This is something I am still grappling with. What works for me is I have a drawing book where I have my alter ego that call Potol my daak naam provided by buzzfeed. Who rescues me from whichever or rather whoever monster but now I have to understand what is the real issue there.
Loving what I do is another lesson I had to learn… interestingly it was my daughter who was eighteen then who asked me a simple question, ”Amma who defines your success” so I actually sat down had a conversation with the universe discussing what I invite in my space with my skills i did feel very silly doing it. But it worked my clinic re-invented itself I am working in the exact space that I want to mentally and emotionally, of course physical space is yet to be formed. Maybe I should reframe it to doing what I love.
Dreaming about the future but operating in the present… its like I am going to Delhi on 22nd, that means I need to book the tickets today, I need to pack my clothes etc. etc. that keeps us very grounded in the present without being directionless.
each day goes by whether we like it or not, when recovering from the burns that was a lesson I learnt, there was no point in worrying about the potential of deep vein thrombosis when the current issue we were dealing with was the pain… and infection after that when I see a panic or anxiety attack coming I just take a deep breath and apply the choice theory and reality therapy.
what is the problem… what is the desired solution…. what am I currently doing…. if this is not working what should I do differently? Somewhere something pops up. I just have to step out of comfort zone.
then there are addictions that hold us for ransom they could story books, drugs, drinks, emotions, dramas whatever once we recognize the pattern and we are willing to let it go just one step at a time things just begin to fall into place.
I am sure we all have our own ways of coming to the present I am off to reading what others have to say.