Dear 16 old me,
Here I am listening Ted talking about is vision for himself 5yrs down the line. He is looking at the balance of life, his physical space, his work space, his emotional space, his financial space. I wish I could have done the same for you.
Well but that was a different plane all together, you did know that you could and would bring about change, the revolution, ”Kattuvevu naavu hosanaadanu, rasada beedondanu” the dream peddled by every revolutionary and every dreamer, a dream of building a new nation that progressive. If I had known then what I know today I would have asked you to define what you mean by progress and what was the price that you would be willing to pay for it.
But back then, revolution was about breaking rules, remember Grandma Parwati telling you, comply with the small rules then when you break the big ones not only will you create the revolution but you will also harness the goodwill. Well you did not realize the wisdom then.
There is also the fact that all revolutions need not happen with vocal dramatics, there are lot of silent revolutions, the change in the society from then to today well it is a silent revolution. Prophets and Rebel leaders come at a time when the world is not really ready for them so they have to create the turbulence but when the world is ready for the change it happens silently but quite powerfully.
The adrenaline infused aggressive revolution that you envisioned well, that is kind of spectator sport you know, people sit on the fence, sigh and weigh and finally cast their side with winning side.
Don’t judge me, and say I have become institutionalized, I am just a rebel as you are, the difference when an adult rebels it sounds like being a glorious saviour, but when teenager rebels she is being prodded by the Devil or is the devil incarnate.
Yes I do acknowledge you for your courage, of living your own unique brand without apology, despite being threatened by institutions of understandings with a closed mind. you did trigger changes though minor ripples by thinking outside the box. These pebbles would someday be the seed of the avalanche of change you want. May be somewhere along the line you should realize that it is not about fighting what is wrong, it is about fighting for what is right.
When I look at the results of the political battles you thought was worth putting your energy into, today, I realize all those went hoarse talking about freedom, and religious equality well wanted the freedom to tell you what you should do, it was not about your freedom. All those wars on common civil code, there is nothing civil about it, it is about erasing other cultural ethos and not balancing the religious ethos, matriarchy has been erased, empowered women have been rendered voiceless, the Mahisuramardhini is has been muted to make place for Rama.
The powerful Mahishasuramardhini has been disempowered to a Kadva chauth performing Bimbo. Is this the battle you wanted to fight?
Anyway dear, your dreams and destination belonged to your age and era, I am moving on to mine, dictated by learning and limitations, I’m not emerging out of stillness for I realize that is the way to deal with the quicksand, that is the path to destination you chose. Have faith
Rest assured I am still walking the path.