Forgiveness is not easy to come by, but it is a sign of ones inner strength what is my take asks Blogger Sunaina who blogs at http://istoppedtosmellarose.blogspot.in/ well for me it is not about the other, it is about me, if I have done something that I think I have messed then I own up, in all integrity, whether person forgives me or not is their problem I have a bigger one to deal with can I forgive myself?
I cannot remember who said this but how people treat you is their Karma and how you react is your Karma; I always thought it was a beautiful way of putting it.
When I used to hear this whole word of forgive someone it actually sounded very priggish to me. it is like I am in a pedestal and the other is not. The entire complex has been very very confusing. And then there were popular beliefs that I picked up along the way… like the one by Oscar Wilde, ”always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.”
There was a huge inner child raging, what if I forgive, i will lose my “I am hurt status,” what will I do without it? as I walked along the path of spirit healing, I learnt forgiveness is not about forgetting, it is about letting go of another person’s throat… forgiveness does not create a relationship, unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behaviour, a relationship of trust is not possible. When we forgive someone we certainly release them from judgement, but without true change no real relationship- can established…. forgiveness in no way requires me to trust the one I forgive, but should they finally confess, and repent, there is a miracle awaiting us, that is our heart allows us to reach out and begin to build between us a bridge of reconciliation…forgiveness does not excuse anything…we may be to declare our forgiveness a hundred times the first and second day, but the third day will less and each day after until one day we realize that we have forgiven completely…and maybe even pray for the others wholeness.
Forgiving I realized meant more of letting go of resentment, and resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill our enemies. The truth is unless we let go, unless we forgive our self, unless we forgive the situation unless we realize that the situation is over we cannot move forward.
And with each healing session, I learnt that the person I had to ask forgiveness from the most is myself, I had to love myself particularly when I remember a shortcoming, a flaw I have to tell myself its fine, the process is so ongoing, some day i will reach a point, when I stop seeing those things, because that is what love is about.
Meditation form that seemed to help lot of my clients is given below.
- Sit in a quiet comfortable space.
- Focus on your breathing till is deep, and rhythmic. It usually takes about 10 breathes.
- Then breathe in deep and breathe out through your eyes, till your eye lids feel limp.
- Record the passage below and listen to it
People, love ones, and friends make mistakes. You can get through
infidelity, hurts, betrayal, and abandonment. Allow the many different feelings
you have run their course. You may never forget the experience but you need to
dissolve the current anger, hurt, and resentment today. You can get through (name
The negative experience), heal and have honest and intimate relationships again.
Be gentle with yourself, be patient with yourself. When challenges arise, when
someone wrongs you, your duty is to forgive. Not to punish. Nothing good
comes from a spirit of hurt and revenge. The choice is yours. True forgiveness
occurs only when you treat the subject as a closed matter. Forgiveness breaks
down walls. Before true feelings can occur, you must let loose all old hurts and
start fresh. Grant yourself comfort and peace. Forgiveness gives you a clean start.
You need to heal your wounds. A positive spirit is like a
Powerful medicine. A positive spirit has a great deal of power to heal. You have to
accept others. Flaws and all. You can hope to receive no more than what you
are willing to give in this life. So let go, move on, and get peace give the gift of
Slowly open your eyes and assimilate into the environment.