My mother is town, she is categorical that she is visiting her grand-babies and not me.
When I look at them somewhere I feel left out that I do not belong to this exclusive club. But like my fifteen going on fifty (I can’t say that anymore, so guess I have substitute ancient wisdom) daughter put it, “don’t feel bad mom, your grand-kids will love like this.” maybe yes maybe not, my own bond with my grandmother was very very special.
My grandpa and grandma were like grand-angels to me, grandma always made feel that she had been waiting to see just me all day, and now that she saw me her day was complete.
This is what Grandma Parwati used say, “Its special, grandparents and grandchildren. So much simpler, its simply because with your own kinds you are so worried about not doing things right, then there is the fear that the child will take a part of your heart to use and misuse as they please, a grandchild is very different. gone are the bonds of guilt and responsibility, the burden of maternal relationship, the way of love becomes free.”
I see my peers rushing to US- or here or there to babysit their grand-babies, well, grandparents are of course the best baby-sitters, you feel completely safe entrusting your baby to them for long periods, but like my mother said, gone are the days of working mother issues, it is the period of working grandmothers, that is where great-grandmothers step in.
Observing my mother interact with my daughters I realize what my grandmother meant to me, having her around was like having an army, the grandchild’s ultimate privilege, knowing that she was always on my side, whatever the details, even when I am wrong, maybe especially then, grandmothers I realize are both a sword and a shield. There are moments in life that can only be cured with big squishy grandma hug… in my case it was conversation, neither of my grandmothers like being hugged. Funnily enough my mother is great one for hugging her grandkids.
When my daughters were born, the graveyard shift of 4 am to 7 am would be handled by grandpa, it was amazing to watch them together, the baby holding on the grandfather and my grandfather talking to her, he would speak in a very different sing song voice and she would respond with gurgles and sound.
Somewhere I guess the bond between grandparents and grand-kids is sense of continuity, young people need something stable to hang on ot – a cultural connect, a sense of their own past that gives them an assurance of a future. Probably the abundance that the grandparents provide in unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life and of course cookies are important.
Across time, geography, and civilization there is no question that grandparents are the greatest. It is the grandparents who sprinkle that stardust in the lives of little children.
A small piece of advice – if nothing is going well call your grandmother—Italian proverb.