Genealogy …Well I say – same last name.

indispireShould a woman change her surname after marriage?

Since you asked Ms.Anita it depends on who you pose this question to the Tulu, Nair and many communities up in he north-east there is no question of surname changing because it they are matrilineal.1

The constitution of the country gives everyone a choice,

The Babu-dom and their triplicate forms don’t.

At the end of the day what is surname, Merriam-Webster defines it as a name shared by the people in a family.

Every individualis defined by the communities he or she belongs to, and families are the communities where you are an inherent member.

No self stands alone.  Behind it stretches an immense chain of physical and as a special class with the whole – mental events, to which it belongs as a recting member and which it carries on. through the conditiona at any moment of its somatic, especially its cerebral system and through education, and tradition, by word, by writing, by monument, by manners, by a way of life by a newly shaped environment… by som much that thousands of words would not exhaust it.

No self is of itself alone. It has a long chain of intellectual ancestors. These are chained to ancestry by many factors. This not just an allegory, but an eternal memory.

A surname presents a behaviour pattern and value system of an individual based on this collective experience.

With the surname a personal journey becomes a part of the generational relay. Live your legacy and then pass it on.

So much about educating Anita on surnames, but please indiblogger can you stop endorsing such idiotic prompts. I am not asking you pick revolutionary  ones but relevant ones can make it can’t they unless you have a  monthly one prompt contract with the lady. Her last prompt was equally pathetic.

Reference

  1. Relating to, based on, or tracing descent through the maternal line.
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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. karan
    Mar 18, 2015 @ 08:04:24

    This line is perfect – “So much about educating Anita on surnames, but please indiblogger can you stop endorsing such idiotic prompts.”

    Reply

  2. Kiran Acharya
    Mar 19, 2015 @ 03:28:40

    A nice post about South Indian genealogy.I understand how as a south Indian, you might think the question silly. But for the rest of the Indian girls, the question is a critical one.
    Some girls are forced to change both their names, and surname. Imagine Smitha Patil turning into Minakshi Dixit in a day. It’s not just a question of identity, it’s an emotional trauma. None of your previous acquaintance recognise you without seeing a photo, or in person. A female clinician has more problem, if she changes her name along with shifting the clinic. I’ve had friends who suffered the tragedy of starting as a fresher just because of a silly tradition. 😦

    Reply

    • parwatisingari
      Mar 19, 2015 @ 07:37:49

      Kiran, I opted not to change my surname, yes, there have been times when my patients have been told that no one of my name lives in this place. The choice of to change your name or not is yours, particularly if you are educated. My point is not that my point is- there are more challenging issues that one can have a brainstorming about.

      Reply

  3. indrani
    Mar 19, 2015 @ 09:38:49

    For a woman starting life afresh with a new name will be challenging!

    For two decades and some more you have one name and then because you are married you are forced to change name and surname can be a serious issue to one who has faced it, for others it will look trivial and wouldn’t want a discussion on it. 🙂

    Reply

    • parwatisingari
      Mar 19, 2015 @ 10:02:52

      Indrani, if my generation had issues about it, it is relevant. Today it is a forgone conclusion that to change or not change is a personal decision. Most women who have career don’t change simply because it entails changes in a whole lot of documents. Once you have your passport, and pancard your identity cannot be altered.
      By the way I chose not change my name and this is 25yrs ago, I don’t even use that Kapoor-Khan hyphenated nonsense.
      There are bigger battles than change of name.

      Reply

  4. Anmol Rawat
    Mar 19, 2015 @ 16:40:28

    “So much about educating Anita on surnames, but please indiblogger can you stop endorsing such idiotic prompts.”

    Well I guess Indiblogger does not force people to write on every topic that is raised.

    “Can you read?” We can even debate on as simple thing as that.
    “You get to decide which idea is blogged about every week.” This is mentioned clearly on the indispire page. And you chose to write what?

    “I am not asking you (indiblogger) pick revolutionary ones but relevant ones can make it can’t they unless you have a monthly one prompt contract with the lady.”

    Reply

    • parwatisingari
      Mar 20, 2015 @ 00:22:38

      For once I seemed to triggered a debate, I do not apologize for writing what I did, except may the last line about the contract which I need not have expressed. I am also aware that I have a choice not to write, but there are specific times like this one where I choose write to as way of expressing that there are bigger issues. Even in ones own personal arena.
      Indrani’s comment of for women starting fresh sounds like she is talking to a man.
      Holy heavens my generation has already fought this battle for you, now move on.

      Reply

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