Love …I’m assuming it is romantic love we are referring to here. I really wonder what it is, I mean everyone has so much to say, from opposites attracts to God knows what. This was one thing that I really wanted to stay away from.
We all grew up with great notion built up by Mills and Boons, the tall dark, handsomely ugly, masterful masculine gender who would storm into our life. “The first stab of love is like sunset, a blaze of colours – oranges, pearly pinks, vibrant purples” was an author’s description.
A loud I did mock at all that crap… maybe somewhere I hoped someone would prove me wrong.
Something about first love defies duplication, I am told, for before it the heart is blank. Unwritten. After, the walls are left inscribed and graffitied. When it ends no amount of scrubbing will purge the scrawled oaths and sketched images I am told, but my firm belief is sooner or later we do find there’s space for someone else between the words in the margin.
Falling in love is very real, but I do shake my head when people talk about soul mates, the poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal that sounds pretty in a poetry book. The great Ying finding Yang, the sea and river confluence and whatnot. We are referring to that sexual chemistry, what we call as the first love is the first mating call. The very physical being.
For love to last, we have to have illusions, or rather no illusions at all, but one has to stick to one or the other, it is switching back and forth that endangers things.
When it comes to lasting love, it is something a person has to decide to experience, lifelong monogamy is not natural be it man or woman. If you do marry your first love, then the ardour will fade sooner or later, the marriage will then live or die on respect. Practical compatibility, simple affection and determination. The relationship is different from the kind of love that began the marriage. This is a richer love, deeper and probably more spiritual. Opinions vary, but definitely overall more impressive.
As much as I enjoy romance, particularly voyeuring into another’s life like we do with gossips or mills and boons, it is commitment that I respect more. I need to know a love I can depend on, a love that says, I will be with you through it all, I love you and I love you even when you may not be all that loveable, for sometimes, I am not very loveable either, you can count on me – always.
I wonder if we can think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything but the alpha and omega an end it… itself.
Hey ‘Love’ here from all of you out there, with regard to the last statement.