“That your power of command
with simple language was
one of the magnificent things of
(from the poem: result)”
― Charles Bukowski
Sakku, smiled, in her life it was “because I said so” yours is not to question why yours is but to do and die. Well she had let people supervise her life, she had lived in a prison of dominance not knowing who she was, but she could never live by her own orders, she was not her own soldier. She needed someone to take the responsibility. It was great to be the eternal child playing to be grown up.
The others were sitting on the beach. She was hesitant, to go out in the full moon and sit with her friends Sneha and Mithra, after all three of them well into their sixties and were at Bhubanshwar to attend a mutual friends son’s wedding.
Walking on beach, actually walking in itself was something sakku enjoyed, as child she had walked on the railway line, balancing and looking at the small blue flowers that grew between the connectors’, sometimes she would skip on so that the touch me not would fold.
Then one day her mother had found out she had got a spanking of her life time. There was no explanations to why she did not have walk on the railway line when there were no trains plying, her mother’s universal answer was,” because I said so”
This was something that Sakku carried on to her life. But seemed so powerless there too, her daughter somehow never respected that authority, of “because I say so” she would look Sakku squarely in the eye, and proceed to exactly as she chooses. Sakku wondered what the difference was, it is not the upbringing, she delivered the same spanking that her mother did, she laid down the same rules her mother did, sakku had however obeyed her mother but Jigna.. no she did exactly what she thought was right.
Not asking questions, obeying orders had become a part of her personalities. When she did have to take a decision, she always felt incompetent.
Jigna had once told her– “monsters exist, but they were too few in number to be truly dangerous. More dangerous were the common men, the functionaries ready to be believed and to act without asking questions.” After all we have been brought up on the Ramayana that extols the virtue of blind obedience! Very few ask, most of us wring from the unknown the answers that have already shaped in our minds, — justifications, confirmations and forms of consolation without which they can’t go on. though really ask is to open the door to the whirlwinds. The answer may annihilate the question and the questioner.
Sakku smiled jigna’s logic was never easy to follow. Anyway, she had made peace with the string the that tied, her, the moon beckoned over the Bay of Bengal the sands of Bhubaneshwar invited, Sakku tread on the sand, she looked up at the moon “don’t walk on the sand”
“Why”Sakku asked her mother’s voice ringing in her ear,
“because I say so”
“Well , that’s not enough anymore amma, ”
“Well, the crabs can bite you, your clothes could dirty” Sakku smiled, she had indeed crossed the threshold to adulthood at the age of sixty four.