Lookin’ forward.– In anticipation

ImageWhen the mind get with excitement does time speed up? Slow down?  Susana wondered. She thought about the experience of anticipation.

The awareness of a mind warmth in her stomach, the increased listening ability to every sound that could sound like the bike, or car. There was something about it, precious, as gold, no more rare since after walking the earth for half a century these moments were very very rare as rare as platinium.

Sometimes Susana thought of all the hardship a person had to face none was more punishing than the simple act of waiting. Anticipation, such a small word in the dictionary but looking forward to hope, all these meant simple act of faith in continuity somewhere our own immortality.

But as she waited for that sound of the car door, shutting she wondered, if there was no, hidden fear in that anticipation  the sound of the door meant the traveller had returned safe.

Susana, sipped her tea in anticipation of her visitor, anticipation, she pondered again, looking forward, to what? Like winnie the pooh, she smiled to herself, “to doing something she liked best.” Then again what was that she loved best?.. she had to think… eating samosa’s were a good thing to do, there was that one moment before eating that samosa when the fragrance wafted into you, pervading all your senses, Winnie the Pooh of course did not know what to call it, but she called anticipatory joy.

Sometimes, the anticipations of places she would go! Things she would achieve, points she would score, games to be won.. oh! Yes she always won. And the magical things she could do with that crystal ball, made her winning-est of all.

Now at fifty, she had a reached a stage where some part of her could not wait to see what life’s going to come up with next for her! Anticipation without the usual anxiety, and underneath it all is the feeling that she belonged here, just as she was, right now.


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