Nicht spirite.

ImageIn the 14th century  a word was used, the middle English conversasacioun, from the Anglo French conversacion, from Latin conversation– conversation, from conversari that meant to associate with,  to turn around.

How apt, that’s all I can call what happened  I don’t know when except that I was under pethidine  stupor for three days,

Corridors after corridors to walk down, ramps and mezzanine, it was a maze. Beside me sat a shadow, all that I could see was the deep darkness of the Sari that draped her. It was spangled with stars, not the kind like sequences glued on, but real lovely ones that were part of the fabric.

No I did not panic…  for she was reassuring.

Was she the moon, “no child I am the night queen, the one who holds and heals you, and presents you to receive the new emerging day”

“The night?”

Yes, the much maligned darkness, ”

“OH!”   she sounded amused.

“You wonder, what I am doing beside you, maybe you want to be reassured that I not your hallucination?”

I was a bit ashamed, for somewhere I did wonder if the pethidine dose was indeed too heavy.

“where have you emerged from” was the only safe question that popped,

“what you want to know is why, well both the answers aren’t very different.”

‘yes, you are whole and complete,’ she reassured me,… with scars I wondered?

‘with the scars’ she reassured, not just the ones on your skin she said, the ones on your soul too.””

“Do you know, when Kami Garcia Margaret Shtole wrote the beautiful darkness, I asked her when you look up, do you see the blue sky of what might be, or the darkness of what will never be? Do you see me? She was wary to find the answer so left me in her book for someone else to answer, what do you see little one?”

What did I see, nothing really, I was busy trying to find light!! How could I tell darkness that?

She smiled softly, more stars popped up on her drapery. “If there be light, then there is darkness, if cold heat, if height dept, in solid, fluid, if hard, soft, if rough smooth, if calm tempest, if prosperity adversity, if life death only then is a balance possible.”

But what I could not share was the darkness within and not the darkness that showed. Every night I prayed like Macbeth.”stars, hide your fires; let not light see my black and deep desires”

“did you know little one, everyone is alike – like the moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. Do you really want to know the most amusing fact; light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is in the wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first and is waiting for it.”

How right I thought, it was a paradox.

“Well child, the dawn arrives, so I leave you by her.” She turned from the dark to blue, from blue to grey giving away to shades of the rising sun.

Tags: chat, colloquy, converse, dialogue, discourse, discussion exchange.


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